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10 Things You Must STOP Doing Today. . .

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. . . in order to believe in yourself

By PAUL C. BRUNSON

Reflecting on the January 18 commemoration of Martin Luther King Jr.’s achievements, it’s important to consider the one thing that made it possible for him (and many others) to indelibly impact the world: belief in yourself first.

King’s “dream” is often noted and recited. Still, it’s important to remember that in order to express and ultimately realise your own dreams, you have to believe in yourself.

Everything we have in life comes because of our belief that they are possible.

Yet, believing, especially in yourself, is much easier said than done. I know this first-hand, because for the majority of my adult life, I suffered from one of the most debilitating diseases known to man —a disbelief in myself.

It started for me in high school. My teachers (while giving inspiration to other students) lowered their expectations for me and attempted to narrow my vision. Although this didn’t break me, it didn’t make me stronger. I carried with me, for years, a poison of self-doubt. Even during early career “successes,” my exterior image projected fearlessness; yet, inside I fought low self-esteem. Even worse, I felt like a phony.

Over years of pain (which is a great teacher), I taught myself how to cultivate self-belief, and I want to share with you what I have found to work. Believing in ourselves and our plan is not easy.

If you want to believe in your greater purpose, there are 10 things you must STOP doing:

1. Not guarding your heart

Your heart is the most important tool you have. It is not your experience, knowledge, or skill set. It is your heart that matters most of all. Don’t allow just anyone to have access to it. Guard your heart with all your might because everything you create comes from it. If we lose our heart, we have lost everything.

2. Allowing garbage into your mind

In this day and age, more content (blogs, tweets, Facebook posts, etc.) gets published than at any point in the history of the world. Whatever we want to consume is accessible. The issue is what often lands on our plate is filled with negativity—from gossip posts to pure brainless themes like cat memes. While individually, this content doesn’t do real harm, over time, it eats away at our mind like a disease. So, consume a disproportionate amount of inspirational content and cut out the garbage.

3. Not knowing what you live for

“What’s my purpose?” This was a question I asked myself a few years ago. Answering it changed my life instantly.

It’s hard to know where you’re going unless you know who you are—your truth. To create a roadmap for your life, first identify and prioritise your values. Doing so will give clarity of what you need in life as opposed to what you simply want.

4. Not training your belief system

The first step to training your belief system is to use affirmations. Affirmations like, “Why am I so confident? Why do I believe in myself? Why do I trust my intuition?” are empowering questions that focus your mind on why you are, in fact, confident.

Next, force yourself into creating a habit of belief. Some people are born with an innate self-confidence, but most of us are not that lucky. It’s a good thing if we can teach ourselves new habits.

Most experts agree that it only takes 30 days to change our behaviour. Just like a good exercise programme, use the suggestions in this post to map out what you will do daily to boost your “belief muscle” over the next 30 days.

5. Thinking you’re the “only one”

Do a quick read of ________’s biography (fill in the blank with the most inspirational person you know), and you’ll see how they also faced self-doubt at certain points in their life. If you are human, you have struggled with belief.

I often find myself returning to Steve Job’s Stanford commencement address as a source of inspiration and guidance on how one of the most innovative men of our time dealt with self-doubt. This video is a different kind of soul food!

6. Allowing the word “no” to impact you

No one ever succeeds without being rejected (many times). Expect to hear the word “no” time after time, and you’ll be ready to overcome, time after time. As best-selling author, Karen Quinones, so eloquently said: “When someone tells me ‘no,’ it doesn’t mean I can’t do it, it simply means I can’t do it with them.”

7. Not accepting compliments

This is critical towards building your self-esteem, which is an important part of believing you can step into your purpose. Next time someone gives you a compliment, resist the urge to dismiss it, or question its authenticity.
Instead, imagine that it is true and you might just find that it is.

8. Going at it alone

I write frequently about the importance of surrounding yourself with as many good people as possible. But, let’s face it, sometimes the well for good friends is dry. That said, I don’t believe we were put on earth to be alone with our ideas. You must find your one supporter!

When I decided to become a matchmaker, everyone told me I was crazy, but I was able to find support from my wife. All you need is one person to have your back and it makes your belief infinitely easier.

9. Not “faking it until you make it”

This begins with simply speaking confidently and assertively (even if you’re not). I’ve seen first-hand that by simply speaking in a strong manner, people will believe what you have to say. Therefore, it gives you greater control over your ability to influence, and it helps to drive your actual confidence.

10. Not surrendering

From working with and observing some very successful people in my life, I have noticed a common theme that I have adopted for myself:
a) Work your butt off.
b) Identify what you can control.
c) Identify what you can’t control.
d) Surrender to a higher power.

It’s important to realise that no one has ever fallen while stepping out on faith. And understand that, in the eternal words of King, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” I think about this single point daily.

Parting thoughts

Self-doubt is crippling and will cause you to live beneath your privileges. To believe in yourself is no easy feat. Yet, it’s essential to living a fulfilling life. If you’re doing any of these ten things to yourself today, stop so that you can start believing in yourself tomorrow.

What are some other things you have stopped doing to increase your self-belief?

Paul C. Brunson is an expert on self-actualisation and entrepreneurship. Follow him on Twitter @PaulCBrunson. This article is copyrighted material that belongs to Paul C. Brunson, 2013 and all rights are reserved. It was originally published at www.paulcbrunson.com. For personal development training, e-mail us at training@leaderonomics.com. For more How To articles, click here

Reposted with permission on Leaderonomics.com.


When To Bring It Up — When To Let It Go

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By DAN ROCKWELL

Leaders who bring up every little failure, issue, or shortcoming are irritating nags. They can’t let it go.

When you blab on about trivialities, talented people want to pull their hair out. Or they want to grab yours.

Leaders who dig into small issues waste their talent on trivialities.

1. Mind your business.

Insecurity expresses itself as a need to know everything.

Arrogance makes you believe you can fix people.

Meddling inspires apprehension—apprehension slows progress.

2. Establish priorities.

Leaders without priorities chase rabbits and discourage teams. The only way to let go of insignificant behaviours is to do what matters now.

You aren’t worthy to lead until you know what matters now.

3. Lean toward silence with a smile.

Most extroverted leaders talk too much. The only thing worse than an excited extrovert is a cloistered introvert.

At least you know what the extrovert thinks. Both create anxiety.

4. Establish reporting only where issues matter.

5. Protect your headspace.

On a scale of one to 10, how much does this issue matter? Let others worry about six or seven.

Bring it up if:

1. The failure is about character. Being on time doesn’t take a high IQ (intelligence quotient).

2. You expect others to take action. Stop expressing opinions. Are you simply blabbing on because you’re in love with your own voice, or do you expect something to change?

3. You hear excuses, rather than responsibility.

4. It’s a pattern. Once is fine—three times, it’s time to talk.

5. Others fall below their capabilities.

  • What are their strengths?
  • Are they able?
  • How much improvement is possible?

6. They aspire to be better? Don’t pour yourself into those who don’t care.

7. You can adjust their role away from failure or weakness.

Bonus: Bring it up, if they’re working to improve, but persistently frustrated.

Dan Rockwell is a coach, speaker and is freakishly interested in leadership. He is an author of a world-renown most socially shared leadership blog, Leadership Freak. Not sure when to bring it up or when to let go, write to us at editor@leaderonomics.com. Let’s talk! For more Thought Of The Week articles, click here.

Reposted with permission on Leaderonomics.com.

Infographic: Top 10 Ways To Handle Criticism At Work

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It’s always difficult to accept raw, candid comments about your work or habits especially if you’re so used to your way of doing things. But in the workplace, it’s not just about you but also your dynamics with the people around you. You may not be able to control the things that happen to you but you can control the way you respond to them.

Handle criticism at work

Watch our corresponding video here:

For more Top 10 articles, click here. Click here for our Top 10 videos. For other available infographics on Leaderonomics.com click here.

Your First Business Card: Good Manners and Etiquette

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By DARSHANA SIVANANTHAM

First impressions matter.

We are raised in a society that places high regard on good manners and values. It doesn’t come as a surprise that most of us were taught to say our please and thank you’s early in life. In fact, it is very much an integral part of Malaysian culture.

Leaderonomics had a chance to attend an insightful talk by Idriz Konjari, Albania’s former ambassador to Malaysia, on social graces and the relevance of etiquette and protocol in current times.

Read on to see how a little bit of good manners can take you a long way!

Social grace, etiquette and protocol

Social grace is simply how we interact in social situations. These include the spectrum of etiquette, manners, dressing, and refinement. In earlier times, these were required skills taught to young women in finishing school.

Etiquette and protocol are a customary code of polite behaviour in society. It’s a guide for good behaviour, politeness and commendable manners. Etiquette constantly changes to suit society as it evolves; protocol however rarely does.

As we probably encounter more occasions where there is a need to practise good etiquette, here’s a set of simple etiquette tips for every day engagements.

Introducing people

Yes, there is an art to introducing people! The right way to introduce someone, is to first state the name of the person, followed by a formal introduction to another.

For example, “Dave, I would like to introduce you to Ken.” Other phrases you can use include “please meet” or “this is”.

A proper introduction is only complete when you also offer some details about each person. If you have some knowledge of common interests that they may share, this will help them to connect and subsequently carry the conversation.

Mobile etiquette

We’ve all encountered that one inconsiderate person chatting away on the mobile phone while in the cinemas or in important meetings. Mobile etiquette is probably one of the most important aspects of this spectrum, given that almost everyone owns a mobile device.

Some simple pointers to remember are:

  • Learn to use features such as the silent and vibrate mode when in meetings or in social engagements.
  • Ensure ringtone volume is low or turned off in public spaces (theatres, places of worship, restaurants and others), speaking softly and considerately, and using appropriate language.
  • Keep the phone away/turned off when engaged in a conversation.
  • Avoid talking about personal and confidential issues in public.

Dress code

This is a rather tricky one. Typically, there are a few general categories of dress code that we follow – black tie/formal, white tie, cocktail, smart casual and casual.

Black tie events call for formal attire. Men are expected to wear dark suits or tuxedos, while women should be dressed in elegant gowns or dresses over knee length. Hair must be styled, worn up or down. In some countries, traditional and ethnic attire is also acceptable as formal/black tie attire.

White tie events are more formal than black tie events. Dress code for these events require men to be in full formal attire (white tie, vest and shirt). Women must wear their hair up, and be dressed in elegant gowns. Some common white tie events include charity and society balls.

A more familiar dress code is the cocktail – which usually refers to semi-formal short/long elegant dresses for women, and dark suits for men.

Smart casual is one we hear often, being a common dress code at the office. The general rule of thumb for smart casual requires at least a smart jacket, and closed shoes. It is also acceptable for women to wear pants with this dress code. Although denim (and jeans) are not considered smart casual, in some cultures, it is perfectly acceptable to pair this with a smart jacket.

And finally, the dress code we all love – casual! Here’s where we wear our jeans, summer dresses and skirts. However, even the casual dress code has some rules. We may assume that flip-flops or slippers are suitable to wear with this dress code, but it’s actually inappropriate in some settings.

Dining

There’s a whole list of do’s and don’ts when it comes to dining. To get started, it is always important to remember that burping, slurping, talking with your mouth full, and hands/elbows on the table are considered bad table manners.

It’s also important to remember that when dining, it isn’t only about the food; it’s also about the company. When seated at a table with other guests, always remember to politely engage others in conversation.

There’s also a whole list of cutlery that needs some remembrance when in a formal dining experience. We’re not going to go into details here, but rest assured that there’s ample information available online on how to use forks, spoons and knives the right way. The key is to always remember that like everything else in life, even this can be learnt!

After every dining experience, do take time to send over a personal thank you note to your host.

Carrying conversations

While starting conversations can be easy for some, sustaining them can prove to be difficult. Some key pointers to keep in mind when carrying conversations include:

  • Talk less, and listen more.
  • Be prepared with topics to discuss.
  • Tailor conversations to suit your listeners.
  • Avoid sensitive topics such as politics and religion.

If all else fails – just smile!

All of the above serve as a guide to practising good etiquette in various situations that arise in our lives. Having the knowledge of good etiquette and practising it helps us in many ways, and reflects highly on the way we carry ourselves as individuals interacting in a society that places high value on good practices and manners.

If all else fails – then just use the most important curve on your body – your smile! A genuine, warm smile makes up for anything, if it comes from the right place.

Darshana is a media planner at Leaderonomics. A former PR consultant, photographer, and associate trainer, her career path has been anything but monotonous. Article first published on Leaderonomics.com. For more Image Matters articles, click here.

Is There A Dark Side To Charismatic Leadership?

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Why we should still keep a dose of scepticism in the midst of such leadership

By SANDY CLARKE

What is it about charisma that captivates us to the point where we can listen intently for hours to a speaker or carry out requests made by that person?

In theology, charisma is defined as a gift or power from the divine. In other words, charisma can confer a god-like status on an individual. Charismatic people are respected, revered and adored.

When we describe someone as charismatic, we usually offer it in praise of their character. They are—we believe—good people whom we can trust.

However, charisma, just like any other trait, is neither positive nor negative, but rather, depends on how it’s used by both charismatic individuals and their followers.

In order for charismatic leaders to thrive, they need followers not only to recognise the value of their cause, but to fully immerse themselves in whatever vision is being presented, which often creates an attitude of “them and us.”

A potent tool of influence

In the most extreme examples, there have been a number of cults that have led to the mass suicide of followers who wholeheartedly believed in the revelations of a charismatic leader. Such is its power, charisma can help to deliver the greatest of goods, or plunge people into the depths of darkness and despair.

Of course, the negative side of charisma doesn’t require dangerous environments in order to thrive. In the world of politics and business, we have seen an abundance of cases where charming leaders have used their ability to suit whatever agenda they have in mind—and it doesn’t take much to draw people in.

Take, for example, the President of the United States of America (US), Barack Obama’s first-term campaign to be elected to the White House.

Almost a decade has passed since he first ran for president, and the chances are that most of us would have forgotten any key points from his debates, or election promises made on the campaign trail. However, we are able to clearly recall his campaign slogan: “Yes We Can!”

I remember watching as Obama would travel across the country, and being amazed by throngs of people chanting, “Yes We Can!” in unison.

Yes we can, what? I was sure few of these people could answer the question; so caught up they were in the euphoria and theatre that is American politics.

That’s not to say that Obama is necessarily a leader with questionable motives. Over his two terms in office, he has helped America progress, not least of all through the provision of “Obamacare” which has helped millions of previously uninsured people gain access to affordable healthcare.

However, what Obama’s charismatic campaigns have shown is that charisma is a potent tool that can have a powerful effect over those who are drawn into its orbital path.

On one level, charisma can be sinister in that those who buy into an ideology or a personality are the ones who create the effects of charisma.

Obama, or any other charismatic leader, wouldn’t have much success if it wasn’t for the willingness of supporters to be psychologically influenced and easily so, as exemplified by the “Yes We Can!” message.

Is charisma a good or bad trait to have?

Charisma is, of course, extremely useful for leaders in connecting with others and driving a message home. While it’s not an inherently negative personality trait, it is useful to keep some level of caution intact whenever we feel we’re being sucked in by someone but we’re not entirely sure why.

As ever, it’s usually those who believe that they “never fall” for such traits that become most affected by them.

Just as advertising is a billion-dollar business because it knows how to manipulate human nature, charismatic leaders know how to succeed in getting their message across by tapping into our psychological cues and triggers.

The best defence is to always keep a healthy dose of scepticism in the face of grand personalities and sugar-sweet messages. This can go some way to making sure any decisions are well-informed and consciously made.


Positive lessons from 4 charismatic leaders

1. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Traits: Passion, Courage, Vision

At the time of King’s “I Have a Dream” speech in 1963, the gathering of some 250,000 protesters during the march on Washington was the biggest the US capital had ever seen.

The enduring efforts of the captivating preacher and his followers led to Congress passing the Civil Rights Act in 1964, officially outlawing discrimination on the grounds of race, religion or gender.

Lesson: From the biggest to the smallest, no vision is without its stumbling blocks and setbacks. Success isn’t about getting it right the first or even the 10th time; success is never giving up until you get there.

2. Eva Perón

Eva Peron_flickr_some rights reserved

Eva Peron seen here on a stamp. Photo source: Nacho | Flickr

Traits: Compassion, Generosity, Determination

Widely known as Evita, thanks to the musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, Eva Perón achieved so much within her short life in Argentina.

The mildly successful actress saw her life transformed following a marriage to Colonel Juan Perón, who went on to become the country’s president. Using her position as First Lady, Perón worked tirelessly to help the poor and advance a number of causes including women’s suffrage.

Lesson: Whatever your position in life, always look to give others a hand wherever you can. There’s no telling where your generosity might end or what it can achieve.

3. Aung San Suu Kyi

Traits: Resilience, Conviction, Grit

For 20 years, Suu Kyi endured house arrest as a prisoner of conscience in Myanmar. Having returned from living in the United Kingdom to attend to her mother, she was invited to lead the pro-democracy movement, where she fought for free and fair elections.

Giving a speech to 500,000 people in 1988, her vision of democracy—in the face of a ruthless junta—saw her National League for Democracy Party win a landslide victory in the 1990 general election.

The ruling junta offered to release her from house arrest if she left Burma and kept out of politics. She refused. Her eventual release in 2010, following intense international pressure, led her party to sweeping victories in the 2012 by-elections and the 2015 general election.

Lesson: Nothing worth fighting for ever comes easy. It’s not how long the battle rages on, but how true we are to our convictions in striving to create lasting change for the better.

4. Barack Obama

Barack Obama

Traits: Resolve, Audacity, Decisiveness

Obama is acutely aware of the fact that, oftentimes, support is required from those who aren’t always supportive. His ability to unite people behind a cause has led to a number of significant achievements, including the Affordable Care Act, which has helped millions gain access to health insurance.

Obama has also re-established relations with Cuba, and played a central role in worldwide commitments to limit global warming.

Lesson: Sometimes, we have to reach across the table to get support to accomplish what we’re working to achieve. Treat everyone you meet as though your success depends on them—you never know when you might need their support or when.


3 key traits of charismatic leaders

  1. Communication
    Leaders with charisma are powerful communicators. They can easily motivate, inspire and direct others in the face of challenges, and convince people of their ideas and visions.
    Whether in a group setting or on a one-to-one basis, they are effective communicators in any situation.
  2. Confidence
    Charismatic leaders are sure of themselves, and they never try to be anyone else. Even when faced with difficulties, they focus on opportunities for solutions rather than dwell on the problem—their glass is always half-full.
  3. Strong body language
    Often, we can sense charisma in people even before they speak. The way they walk into a room, hold eye contact and maintain composure, shows an authenticity that permeates their very being.
    Communication is said to be 20% of what you say and 80% non-verbal language; and charismatic leaders have mastered the art.

Potential dangers of charisma

  1. It can disguise damaging traits
    Being naturally drawn to charming people, as most of us are, allows charismatic people to hide their less attractive characteristics such as ego, manipulation, deceit, and selfishness.
    Think Donald Trump and you have an idea of how charisma can work for charming people at the expense of others.
  2. Charisma produces collective narcissism
    This is something widely seen in politics, but it also exists in business and other arenas. Democrat or Republican? Apple or Microsoft? Liverpool or Manchester United?
    The sense of belonging to a group enhances our adoration of the candidate, boss, or football team, and it also increases our own sense of pride within ourselves, as well as the group to which we “belong.” This leads to a deluded sense of superiority over others, bolstered by an abundance of justifications when needed.
  3. Charisma is addictive
    Just as pop stars come to depend on the love from their followers, business leaders can become addicted to the approval of their employees. The biggest problem this causes is distraction from the goals of the business.
    Followers also become addicted to charismatic individuals and so, when problems arise, the reality is often distorted in a bid by both parties to maintain the charismatic image of the leader.
Sandy never falls for the tricks of advertising—the fact that he has a stockpile of stuff he doesn’t need is immaterial. He remains (not at all) impervious. To connect with Sandy, you can find him on Twitter @RealSClarke. This article was first published on www.leaderonomics.com. To develop and enhance your leadership qualities, e-mail training@leaderonomics.com.

Infographic: The Rise Of Instagram As A Social Marketing Platform

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By now it should be obvious that Instagram is a powerful medium for promoting visual content. It has enabled businesses to use ads on their feeds.

Many have realised its true potential and started advertising their products here. These are similar to a regular photo posts which will appear on the followers’ feeds.

These are the various benefits of Instagram ads:

  1. Feedback
    Typically an ad appears on the user’s feed. The user can either like, comment or hide the ad. This is a great benefit because either way you are getting some sort of response from the user, which is the actual aim of any ad.
  2. Connection
    In Instagram, social marketers can connect with the people through high-quality images. This is a place where advertisers have to work hard to make a first impression. As a result, they will focus on satisfying people by producing informative and appealing ads.
  3. Target
    Instagram allows you to target audiences which in the traditional form of advertising was hard to achieve. It is possible to gain more information if their account is linked to Facebook. This will be very useful as you can create or modify your ads according to the people you want to reach.
  4. More options
    Video has a benefit of projecting moving images with sound effects rather than a picture. Studies show that 88% of the users spend most of their time viewing videos online. Instagrammers can post videos up to 15 seconds while advertisers can post a 30-second video. This will be very helpful to increase organic traffic for your website.

There are many ways in which you can advertise on Instagram which allows businesses to experiment with different methods. Consider all these points and you can carve your own niche in the Instagram world.

Instagram for Business

For other available infographics on Leaderonomics.com, click here.

 
Reposted with permission on Leaderonomics.com.

3 Powerful Ways To Deal With Really Negative People

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By PETER ECONOMY

Ever feel tired of that handful of co-workers or friends who have a knack for always bringing down your mood—or the mood of any room they walk into? We all do.

People who give off nothing but negative energy into the atmosphere, spreading their special brand of pessimism and ill will, never make for a good time.

Instead of getting frustrated or avoiding these negative people completely, try the following ways to continue enjoying their company.

1. Understand where they are coming from

More often than not, negative people have a reason for having such a lacklustre attitude. They may be having family issues, going through a rough time at work, or suffering from physical ailments. It’s always important to avoid judging a book by its cover – especially in tough cases.

Kicking someone while they’re down does no good for anyone. So, next time you hear someone make a snarky remark about their current situation, don’t roll your eyes in exasperation before hearing them out.

2. Talk about light topics

When we make conversation about heavy topics, it’s very easy to start looking downward.

Especially in precarious times of work decisions, or future planning, it could be beneficial to adopt a light-hearted mindset by choosing to discuss easy things instead.

Make jokes about the last movie you watched or laugh about how terrible the Golden Globes were. Try your best to steer away from subjects that leave you upset.

Talk about things that bring you joy, not uncertainty or unhappiness, and your relationship will definitely grow.

3. Interact mostly in group settings

Hanging out in numbers of three or more may be an easy way around a person’s normally negative attitude. It’s difficult to get down in the dumps when in larger groups, due to the simple fact that many large groups foster a happy, festive atmosphere in which negative people do not thrive.

If you find that friends you struggle with one-on-one possess a merrier outlook on life when other people are involved, invite more friends to join your meetings and discussions.

You will never know, with a little more time in social settings, the problems you found with them may even disappear.


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How I Work With Naysayers

CEO of Leaderonomics, Roshan Thiran, Says Overcoming Negativity

Whenever I am faced with negative people, I feel drained. They are like energy vampires who suck every ounce of positivity from you and replace it with their pessimism and dreary outlook. After spending considerable amount of time with these “vampires,” you become like them—pessimistic and frustrated.

While Peter Economy encourages us not to avoid them, as many of their negativity may stem from personal issues that they may be going through either at home or at work, spending too much time with them can be detrimental to you.

Personally, at one stage in life, having spent significant amount of time with a group of negatively-minded folks, I started believing in their vibe.

I find myself giving up when the going was tough—even believing that the best I could do was to strive for mediocrity—as there was no way a person of my capability and background could possibly dream of greatness.

Once I removed myself from this negative group at the workplace, I realised that God has given us unlimited talent and potential, and optimism for success started oozing back in.

So, how do you deal with situations where you are forced to work with a negative group of people who suck you dry? Peter has provided three great ways. Let me suggest a fourth.

When I am stuck having to work professionally with a group of naysayers, I protect myself from their negativity by going a few notches higher on my optimism and positivity.

So, whilst the group will say that it is impossible to do a specific task, I will go the other extreme and prove to them that not only is it possible, but we should strive to do two impossible tasks instead of just one.

When I go high on positivity, and really switch it on, it soon becomes infectious and it starts to destroy the negativity.

The key to ensuring you influence them (and not vice versa) is to ensure that you switch the positivity on and really believe what you postulate to the group.

I have seen countless occasions where the group either embraces this new stance or they kick you out of the group so that they can go back to their “sad” lives. Either way works as you don’t get mired in their disillusions and self-pity.

At Leaderonomics, we work closely with organisations to help transform negative culture (which translates to negative behaviour and pessimism) to a fresh, engaging and energising culture. Joseph Tan, who leads our culture transformation unit, clearly believes that the environment and culture we create dictates our state.

So, if you are in a perpetual negative state, changing the environment will result in a change of state. Joseph and his team have witnessed miraculous changes (from negative employees to empowered employees) just from culture and structural changes. Be positive and never let the energy vampires suck you dry!

Comment or write to us at editor@leaderonomics.com. To engage with us to set the right culture for your organisation, e-mail training@leaderonomics.com. For more Be A Leader articles, click here.

 

Reposted with permission on Leaderonomics.com.

Peter Economy has written more than 80 books on a variety of business and leadership topics. You can read more of his leadership articles at the website below.

10 Tips On How To Control Tension In The Family

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By CHRISTINE MARYANNA GABRIEL

Nobody wants to open the door when stress is knocking on the other side. We feel defeated when it creatively finds its way into our family and tries to become an additional member.

A research in 2009 by educational consultants, Deborah J. Thomason and Pamela A. Havice, highlighted that past discussions on stress have focused on a single person.

When considering family stress, the focus needs to be on how stress impacts the family as a whole. They defined family stress as an imbalance between the demands of the family and the ability to cope with those demands.

These demands are also known as stressors—a life event or transition that happens in the family. Stress is the feeling. How a family copes with stressors impacts the level of stress in the family. Ineffective ways of coping can bring about a myriad of feelings and worst of all—disconnection.

Here are 10 small yet effective ways your family can use to cope with stressors and bid farewell to stress:

1. Establish self-care first

If the word “self-care” is not in your family dictionary, please add it now. Self-care is the simple act of attending to your own needs.

Taking care of one’s self first can impact the family system tremendously as it gives permission to the other to take care of his or her own self. This applies especially for working parents.

2. Set healthy boundaries

There are many subsystems within the family system. It is the responsibility of the adults in the family to set boundaries between the couple, parent and sibling subsystems.

Dragging your children into adult issues is not only harmful to your children’s emotional well-being but to the family system as a whole.

Physically separating yourself from your children to resolve adult issues or seeking professional help is highly recommended to set healthy boundaries and reduce family stress.

3. Have an open family system

There is a flow of ideas in open family systems and feedback is exchanged so that members can learn and grow. In closed family systems, no new ideas are allowed and differences of opinions are shut down.

If there is a member in your family that needs to be right all the time, it is a sign that you are in a closed system.

Stress levels are high in closed family systems. Be open to differences and recognise that multiple ways of thinking can exist at the same time in a given space.

4. Develop a family management system

Families come in all shapes and sizes. Thinking about how you would like your family to function is called family management. Use a calendar. Share tasks. Have clear expectations of roles and responsibilities. Plan your budget.

Intentionally developing a management system can give family members a sense of consistency and security that can help family members feel more in control of the stress levels.

5. Know when to say “yes” and “no”

Parenting can be very stressful especially if you’re a single parent. It is important to recognise when you need help and when you don’t in terms of raising your children. It’s alright to say “yes” to help offered, especially when you are overwhelmed.

It’s a way of allowing others to love you by helping you. Learn to say “no” when you have friends or relatives who interfere too much in your parenting methods. It’s a way of being in control as a parent.

6. Validate efforts

When was the last time you validated an effort, not just an accomplishment, but an effort made by a family member?

Too often, we focus on the negative results and are quick to blame the other person instead of encouraging each other. Sometimes just saying, “I know you’re trying really hard to __________ (fill in the blanks)” is all your mum/dad/sister/brother needs to hear. No “but” after the sentence.

7. Have non-judgemental family meetings

Calling for family meetings is an intentional way of saying, “We are here for each other.” However, family meetings can turn ugly when a lot of judgements are thrown at each other.

Create a space for each voice in the room to feel heard. Be clear of the meeting agenda. Recognise that differences are not threats, but rather, opportunities for the family to grow.

8. Acknowledge ‘it’

“It” is often unspoken in many families. “It” could be the loss of a family member ten years ago and the grief that continues to linger.

“It” could be an affair that is rather kept as a secret.

“It” could be a past trauma.

Unspoken “its” may feel safe and comfortable now but the silence could insidiously affect each member in various harmful forms—substance abuse, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Acknowledge the “It” for the long-term health of your family. Seek professional help if needed.

9. Accept that nothing is permanent

Pain is temporary. Stress is temporary. Loneliness is temporary. Conflicts are temporary.

Reminding each other in the family that nothing is permanent reduces the rigidity in the system. It gives the family hope to change.

10. Be together

When a family is under stress, it is common to withdraw from each other.

This may be okay if a member just needs some space for him or herself but can be problematic when members are starting to feel disconnected. Find ways to do things together. Because remember, stress is temporary.

Christine Maryanna Gabriel is a Marriage and Family Therapist at Rekindle Centre for Systemic Therapy. She is currently pursuing to become a United States Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She is very passionate about increasing mental health awareness in Malaysia. To learn more on how to handle stress within the family, e-mail jean.selvam@leaderonomics.com for more information. 

How To Deal With Manipulators

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By TAMARA JAYNE

Ever find yourself doing something you didn’t initially agree to? Although they may not blatantly tell you to do things, emotional manipulators are good at observing people’s weaknesses and using it to their advantage.

As psychologist Joyce E. A. Russell states in The Washington Post, “They don’t want to be seen as the ones publicly criticising progress or new initiatives, so instead, they make sure others carry the torch for them. Are they manipulators? Bullies? Possibly both.”

Manipulators usually exude these characteristics:

  • They recognise people’s weaknesses.
  • They are great at disguising motives and intentions.
  • They are able to charm with positive reinforcement or superficial sympathy to control others.
  •  They may use anger or intimidation to make others afraid to confront them.
  • They may use their emotions to stir up guilt or set the emotional climate around them. (If they are upset, everyone around them should be upset too.)

If not stopped, manipulators can cause talented employees to quit, create conflict in a team by causing people to turn against each other, and may even set employees up to fail.

The root causes of manipulation are complex, though it usually stems from a need for power, control, and superiority, or due to simple boredom, or some other hidden agenda. However, if not stopped, their behaviour will be reinforced and will continue to affect more and more people.

How to spot and stop emotional manipulation

1. Recognise and be aware of their tactics

Since they are great at disguising their motives at times, it is good to be aware of how they talk you into doing the dirty work for them. Some people may use charm to get things done, while others may use anger. Whichever method they use, be aware of it.

2. Say “no” to guilt-trips

By accepting that it is alright to be guilt-tripped by someone, you encourage them to continue in their behaviour.

Sentences such as, “Why can’t you be more like your friend who scored all As in his exam?” or “If only you acted more like her husband; he’s more caring and loving towards his wife.”

These sentences are used to make the other party feel bad and is a form of emotional manipulation. Giving the silent treatment is also another form of emotional manipulation used to make you feel bad.

3. Know your rights

Remember that the problem is not you. Preston Ni, a professor of communication studies, states that,

  • You have the right to be treated with respect.
  • You have the right to express your feelings, opinions and wants
  • You have the right to set your own priorities
  • You have the right to say “no” without feeling guilty.
  • You have the right to get what you pay for.
  • You have the right to have opinions different from others.
  • You have the right to take care of and protect yourself from being threatened physically, mentally or emotionally.
  • You have the right to create your own happy and healthy life.
  • You have the power to stand up for yourself and your life. Don’t let anyone physically, mentally, or emotionally manipulate your thinking.

When you feel that you are being treated irrationally or are being manipulated into doing others’ work, you can politely say to them “No, I can’t help you with that as I have other commitments as well.”

Set boundaries. They should not make you feel like you need to walk on eggshells around them for fear that they will use anger or self-pity to get what they want.

4. Always verify information

They may often tell you what others have said, but always check with the original sources. This can prevent them from using information against you or twisting words to suit their own personal needs.

Be wary when other people’s names and vague generalisations are used as a backup to get what they want. For example, “So and so says this about you too,” or “Everyone thinks this of you, not just me.”

5. Ask yourself some questions

Manipulators are good at wearing different masks with different people depending on the situation. With one person, they may be sweet, but with another they may be completely rude.

Ask yourself some of these questions:

  • “Am I being treated with genuine respect?”
  • “Am I constantly feeling afraid to state my own views?”
  • “Is this relationship only one-sided?”
  • “Are the expectations and demands of me reasonable?”

Parting thoughts

Manipulative behaviours can create a ripple effect when not put to a stop. It is thus essential that we recognise and end them.

Ultimately, the goal is not to change a manipulative person. It is to understand your own personal rights and to stand up for them.

“When people don’t like themselves very much, they have to make up for it. The classic bully was actually a victim first.” – Tom Hiddleston

Tamara loves thought-provoking conversations over cups of tea. If she is not writing, you might find her hiking up a mountain in search of a new waterfall to explore. To engage with her, write to tamara.jayne@leaderonomics.com. For more How To articles, click here.

What To Do If You Work For A Jerk?

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Understanding the real issue and learning how to deal with it

By JOSEPH GRENNY

Mike used to love going to work each day. He was in a role in which he could use his talents to make a difference in the world by helping people.

During team meetings, he would eagerly participate with his teammates and offer up ideas about how his company could work smarter, but most of those ideas were quickly rejected by his boss.

Soon, he noticed that one of his ideas was adopted by the company, and his boss took all the credit. Unfortunately, this wasn’t an isolated event.

Not only that, his boss would openly complain in front of other executives about the lack of talent on his team, and how he was the only person in the department who came up with great ideas.

Needless to say, it didn’t take Mike long to start slacking off. He started looking for a new job six months after he was hired.

Introducing the disagreeable boss

Unfortunately, for many people, work has lost its lustre. Employees who were once motivated to come in early or stay late now have a tendency to take off early, show up late, or even call in sick.

Is this trend simply a sign of a career slump, or is there a reason employees seem to be getting the corporate life sucked out of them?

You would think long hours, low pay, and bad work assignments are the leading causes of career blues. Naturally, these grievances are enough to cause any employee to grumble.

But a survey by VitalSmarts reveals that these grievances are actually the least common concerns among employees. More than 50% of survey respondents listed a disagreeable boss as their No. 1 reason to want to pack up and leave.

These disgruntled employees aren’t just daydreaming about leaving—they’re doing something about it. In fact, two out of every three people who are bugged by their boss are actively seeking alternative career options.

If you’re feeling stifled by your supervisor, leaving the office may feel like the cure. But what happens when you stumble into a new office with a new boss—only to discover that, once again, you work for a jerk?

Even though the grass seems greener on the other side, the problem may not be with the disagreeable boss—despite the fact that he or she could use a personality adjustment.

What is the real issue here?

The problem could, in fact, be an employee’s unwillingness or even inability to candidly share concerns about his or her working relationship with the boss.

The survey revealed that only one in five people have even attempted to fully lay out his concerns with his boss.

It’s no wonder people aren’t enjoying their careers as much as they could be. When you can’t approach your supervisor, work suddenly feels less enjoyable and productive, and more like detention.

Our research team has determined that most people don’t know how to candidly and respectfully express concerns to anyone, let alone a person of higher power or authority.

It turns out that when it matters most, most of us do our worst at communicating our concerns. Disturbingly, almost two-thirds of survey respondents admitted they will quit before ever really speaking their mind.

However, a disagreeable boss does not have to be the ticket to a dead-end career. With the proper set of skills, any employee can turn a less-than-pleasant working relationship into one that will restore a desired level of respect and civility.

In fact, survey respondents who stated that they do speak up and feel skilled at holding what we call “crucial confrontations” with their bosses, were more satisfied with their current jobs and less likely to look elsewhere.

They were also less likely to bad-mouth the boss to others or to work around the boss’s weaknesses.

Learning how to communicate effectively

So, if you begin dragging your feet on the way to work because your boss is disagreeable—maybe even a jerk—use the following skills to successfully confront your manager and begin the path to career revival.

1. Work on you first, the boss second

Get your emotions in check by looking for how you may be adding to the problem. It isn’t that the boss doesn’t have faults; it’s that most people tend to exaggerate their boss’s problems and ignore how they may be contributing.

2. Hold the right conversation

Most people think they are giving their boss feedback, but fail to get to the real issue that concerns them.
If your fundamental concern is that your boss doesn’t respect you or that you don’t trust your boss, find a way to discuss that issue without skirting around it.

3. Start with safety

It can be tough to tell your boss you don’t trust him or her. But it is completely possible to do so without rupturing the relationship if you can help your boss feel safe.

People feel psychologically safe when they know you care about their interests and respect them.

Start with: “I have a concern I’d like to discuss. It’s important to me, but it’s also something I think will help me work more effectively. May I discuss it with you?”

4. Facts first
Don’t start with harsh judgements or vague conclusions like, “I don’t trust you,” or, “You’re a control freak.” Instead, start with the facts.

Strip out any judgemental or provocative language and be specific. For example, “After you told me you brought me up for a promotion in the human resource meeting, two people who were at that meeting e-mailed me and asked why you hadn’t recommended me for it.”

Joseph Grenny is New York Times bestselling author, keynote speaker, and social scientist for business performance. His passion and expertise is human behaviour and its impact on business performance and relationships. He is a contributing columnist for BusinessWeek, Forbes, and Harvard Business Review. Joseph is also the co-founder of VitalSmarts, an organisation committed to teaching others how to effectively change human behaviour. To engage with him, e-mail us at editor@leaderonomics.com. For more Be A Leader articles, click here.

Reposted with permission on Leaderonomics.com.

Saying ‘Thanks’ Is Not Enough

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By LOUISA DEVADASON

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. —John F. Kennedy

It is inevitable. The hustle and bustle of modern career life pulls us in so many directions that we often find ourselves on autopilot – only able to offer expected pleasantries to the people who work for us and with us. We automatically say thank you to someone who’s done well in the moment and then carry on.

Yes. We thank them for what they did, but do we appreciate the human being? Do we recognise the values and strengths that make them great? Do we see their good work as a much larger picture of their potential?

The act of recognising and appreciating employees is crucial. Making it a principle is pivotal to enhancing and building the strengths and characteristics that are already present in the individuals.

In practice

Appreciation and recognition must go hand-in-hand to be effective so it’s important to understand them individually before synthesising
the concepts.

1. Recognition

  • Communication is key between management and employees which rewards them for reaching specific goals or producing high quality results in the workplace.
  • Recognising or honouring employees for this level of service is meant to encourage repeat actions, through reinforcing the behaviour you would like to see repeated.

2. Appreciation

Appreciation is, collectively, the full awareness and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone. Showing gratitude towards someone and by doing so increasing their value in your eyes and in the eyes of the company.

One could view recognition as the extrinsic part: rewarding someone for his or her performance through bonuses, promotions, and acknowledgement. Appreciation, however, is more intrinsic – it is how much you value people and who they are as well as what they have to offer. You need to sincerely feel appreciative in order to be appreciative.

A recent survey found that employees were more loyal and productive when their superiors took time to say, face-to-face, what they appreciated about them and pass on these praises to senior management.

In fact, when bosses specifically thank employees for a contribution or a quality, it made them more receptive to feedback. All it took was a minute to leave them a handwritten note, drop them an e-mail or just say, “You did ____ great!”

In short

When you recognise and appreciate people, you highlight their strengths, you reinforce good behaviour and you make them feel significant. Most importantly, you grow their potential and they became a greater asset to the company.

Employee appreciation and recognition is never out of place. In fact, in many organisations, it is often a scarce commodity. So, make your workplace the exception.

Louisa thanks you for reading this. To get in touch or to share your thoughts with her, e-mail louisa.allycyn@leaderonomics.com. For more Try This articles, click here.

How You Can Learn To Listen To The Silent Cries Of Your Disengaged Employees

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By JOSEPH TAN

“She loves me, she loves me not.”

Last week, I was invited to speak to the senior management team of one of the largest paramedic organisations in the world which serves over eight million citizens.

What’s interesting to note is that while many of its front line employees are busy serving the needs of others, there are increasing signs of dissatisfaction and disengagement, leading to persistent turnovers. This presents a paradoxical scenario—the organisation is caught up with meeting the increasing demands of the public but has been neglecting the internal needs of its employees.

Here lies the danger—the silent cry for affirmation and appreciation often goes unheeded in the midst of the ever-increasing demand for high performance and productivity. The question to consider then is this:

Is it possible to meet increasing client demands without jeopardising the emotional health of employees?

The demand for acceleration

No company intentionally sets out not wanting to appreciate its employees. However, with the increasing demand for high performance each passing year and the loud “voice of the customer,” it is not surprising to find that employees feel the gradual distancing every time management announces a new performance goal.

Hence, this demand for acceleration, if not coupled with a corresponding people affirmation plan, will create an employee base which is stretched, strained and stressed.

Here is the silent cry from stressed-out employees:

“Boss, when you announce the higher performance measurement, please realise that we also need to feel the passion of wanting to meet those numbers.”

The challenge for managers is not just to communicate the numbers clearly but to also “humanise” the message, i.e. the ability to connect the emotions with the expectations.

Any Tom, Dick, Harry and Sally can convey numbers but it requires an engaging manager to be able to connect the dots between an organisation’s mission and goals with an employee’s personal aspiration.

Much of the commitment that we make as individuals are based on the emotions of the moment rather than just pure logical thinking.

In fact, Daniel Kahneman, an Israeli-American psychologist, states that 70% of our decisions are based on emotional factors while the remaining 30% are based on logical elements.

Hence, if most of the decision-making factors are emotionally-driven, shouldn’t managers be designing their communication methods to be at least 70% impactful from an emotional perspective?

The demand for accomodation

Besides the rising internal expectations of performance, there is the rising external expectations from customers as well. The fact of the matter is that most organisations end up listening more to the “voice of the customer” rather than the “voice of the employee.”

This is not to say that one is more important than the other, but rather, both voices need to be kept in balance and in perspective. Listening to the customer more than the employee creates a sense of expectation, and listening to the employee more than the customer creates a sense of entitlement. Both extremes are not sustainable.Balance

While it is important to accommodate to the needs of the customer—after all, they are the ones who pay the bills—isn’t it also a consequential factor that we need to meet the needs of those who meet the needs of these customers?

In other words, how can we expect our employees to deliver their best to meet customer expectations if they are void of fulfilment and a sense of purpose?

Every organisation is looking to increase the level of customer engagement but that can only be sustainable if it is matched with equal efforts of increasing the level of employee engagement as well.

Here is the silent cry of disengaged and frustrated employees:

“Boss, when you seek to accommodate and please the customer, please do not forget that we, as your employees, also have feelings.”

If we desire our employees to deliver an exceptional customer experience, it is our responsibility as managers to design an engaging employee experience in the workplace. The intensity of internal engagement translates into extraordinary external customer engagement.

From an organisational development perspective, any customer experience programme ought to be complemented with a corresponding managerial development programme. This is because if the team does not have a great manager, they are not optimally motivated to deliver great services.

Parting thoughts

While organisational leaders tune in to the rising demands of performance and customer expectations, it is equally important that we pay attention to the silent demand for appreciation and engagement of employees.

After all, if employees have the opportunity to do what they do best every day, then they will be six times more engaged. That environment needs to be created with much affirmation and appreciation.


3 practical steps for managers to connect employees’ emotions with the acceleration process

  1. Consider the materials, equipment and resources required by employees to do a good job.
  2. Celebrate current accomplishments first before communicating the next one.
  3. Conduct small group conversations to address any doubt or lingering issue which may affect the achievement of the set goals.

4 ways a manager can help fill in the emotional bank of employees

Frustated employee1. Identify the unique talents of every member of the team

Knowing the talent of an individual is not the same as knowing the job description of that particular person.
Job descriptions are standard across different individuals but talent is distinctive to each person and no two employees are alike (although they may have the same role).

2. Set clear expectations

According to Gallup, 50% of employees in the United States turn up for work not knowing what their priorities are, i.e. they are unsure of what their boss really wants and why they are doing what they have to do.

Yet, all of them would claim that they are busy! This means that we have employees who are busy but not purposeful.
Sure, there are plenty of tasks to complete, but there is a lack of direction and focus. This may sound ironic but setting clear expectations is a way of affirming the employees’ talent.

3. Motivate and engage

Setting measurements is the easy part. Next is the need for employee motivation. Your ability to motivate is influenced by your ability to present a compelling story of the purpose of what you and the team do.

4. Develop

Every talented employee has a need for his or her talent to be appreciated. This appreciation is demonstrated when the manager makes time to be personally involved in designing a personal growth programme for every employee.

Nothing energises an employee as much as the act of being cared for in terms of having a personally designed growth and upskilling programme.

We are wired to look for meaning in our work, and having a personal development track is certainly an enriching experience.

Joseph Tan is CEO of Leaderonomics Good Monday. His passion is to work with performance-focused leaders to capture the hearts and minds of their employees through a strengths-based and accountability-driven approach. Much of what is shared in the article comes from his work as a Gallup-certified strengths coach. If you would like to enhance the
engagement level of your organisation by engaging Joseph’s expertise, e-mail joseph.tan@leaderonomics.com for more details. For more Consulting Corner articles, click here

What do working professionals have to say about this?

Do you think the lack of appreciation is one of the underlying factors of people quitting their jobs? Please elaborate.

Anonymous, HR consultant and trainer from a local organisation:
Lack of appreciation, in my opinion, is not necessarily the prime factor for people quitting their jobs. It also depends on the generation. Most millennials (or Generation Y) would expect a fair bit of appreciation from their bosses and the organisation. If this is not forthcoming, they would probably explore other job opportunities, especially if they are looking to fast track their career, which is quite common nowadays. In general, and I believe statistics support this as well, that employees leave bosses and not the company. So in that sense, quitting one’s job may be tied to a lack of appreciation, especially when you have a “boss from hell.”

Joyce K. Noser, Practice Leader, Organisational Surveys & Insights, Willis Towers Watson:
Yes, absolutely. Feeling underappreciated is becoming a key reason for people to leave their jobs. Employees have a strong need for recognition and want to have a sense of accomplishment that their hard work and skills matter to the organisation. So, when supervisors fail to recognise employee contributions, it can affect overall productivity and engagement in the workplace.

What would you do to appreciate someone, perhaps a colleague/boss?

Anonymous, HR consultant and trainer from a local organisation:
For appreciation, I would give a favourable comment during meetings or do a public sharing where all employees are together. Appreciation should be expressed in public and made known to everyone so that they value it more and others will strive to emulate the achievement. In some cases and where appropriate, this could be followed up with a formal mail or letter expressing the same.

Joyce K. Noser, Practice Leader, Organisational Surveys & Insights, Willis Towers Watson:
Offering appreciation at the workplace can be conducted in different ways. Simply expressing a sense of gratitude through verbal recognition such as “great work” or “thank you” can ensure that employees know you appreciate them, especially when the gesture is done in front of other colleagues. For a more formal recognition, supervisors can consider nominating a subordinate, peer, or boss for employee awards.

IJM Corporation Bhd: A Great Malaysian Story To Be Told

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Riding through the economic cycles and emerging stronger each time

By LAY HSUAN, LIM

A story of great trials and triumphs ought to be told throughout the generations, lest we forget how our forefathers sacrificed and gave themselves so much for an aspiration they held on to or a cause they believed in.

We are often intrigued by the stories of how humble beginnings turned into great and admirable organisations that impact communities and nations like today’s General Electric and Starbucks.

It is therefore a rare occasion that we get to share the story of a Malaysian company built by a group of determined local professional engineers from scratch to become what it is today, 33 years later, as it continues to leave its footprints around the globe.

Leaderonomics caught up with Datuk Soam Heng Choon, chief executive officer (CEO) of IJM to get his insights about the IJM legacy and its future.

Made up of three companies, i.e. IGB Construction Sdn Bhd, Jurutama Sdn Bhd and Mudajaya Sdn Bhd: this is the IJM story.

A shared destiny, a shared future

It has been an amazing journey for IJM to grow by leaps and bounds to be one of Malaysia’s most respected home-grown conglomerates and key player in fulfilling Malaysia’s national agenda toward becoming a developed nation by 2020.

IJM has since diversified its business to cover five core divisions (i.e. construction, infrastructure, property, industry and plantation) and has a strong pool of dedicated 4,600 diverse talent ranging from baby boomers to Gen-Zs in 10 different countries.

IJM_Soam

IJM CEO Datuk Soam Heng Choon at an IJM family day event.

Under Soam and his team’s leadership, backed solidly by its people (referred as IJM-ers) who subscribe to the shared destiny concept since IJM’s inception, IJM is well positioned for sustainable growth.

Soam, who is in his 27th year in the company, recalls vividly the turbulent period of economic downturn that affected many Malaysian companies in 1985, 1997 and 2008.

Through the fiery furnace, the diamond in IJM emerged when its leadership collectively decided that no one would lose their jobs. Instead, they resorted to voluntary pay cuts at managerial ranks and above. For every such pay cut, it has been IJM’s hallmark of shared destiny policy to return their pay in full when the economy improves.

“By making sure that every IJM-er still has a job in challenging times, it clearly demonstrates that we are willing to make sacrifices on our part for everyone. In showing genuine care for IJM-ers and their well-being, I believe IJM has increased its employee value proposition and engendered staff loyalty,” Soam says.

Employees are also rewarded with a long-term incentive plan (introduced in 2012) that features share grant and employee share option scheme (ESOS) based on individual performance. This strengthens its shared destiny belief because everyone becomes a shareholder in IJM.

This shows that when you are kind to people, people will reciprocate in due time at different capacities. On hindsight, IJM has emerged stronger as an organisation with each crisis that passed. Over the years, in the spirit of true unity, IJM-ers at all levels have learnt to go through thick and thin together.

The growth agenda

Since its humble beginnings in 1983, IJM has grown from an initial market capital of RM66mil when the company was listed in 1986 to over RM12bil today. It has borne fruits at varying intensity, with a compounded annual growth rate of 19%.

“In IJM, we don’t rest on our laurels. We constantly have a mindset that we ‘aren’t there yet.’ Yes, we are proud to have accomplished so much as an organisation, but there is always room to do better than yesterday. Nothing is ever a ‘business as usual’ here,” says Soam.

The working environment provided by IJM has always been conducive to encourage IJM-ers to put their skills to good use and take calculated risks intrapreneurially (entrepreneurial from within the organisation) to continue to grow IJM.

A case in point was when in the early years, the industry division was an in-house supporting business function which supplied building materials to the construction division. The employees themselves expressed their desire to expand their business and the leadership team gave their full backing. As a result, the industry division became a core business in its own right.

“Learning and growing never stop here. Through the years, we have systematically developed various accelerated talent and leadership programmes for all levels; from the young graduates, executives, managerial and right up to senior levels,” explains Soam.

IJM scholarships

IJM offers yearly scholarship to students from various walks of life.

In Soam’s words, the key is for leaders to grow responsibly and at their own pace, and to be decisive, regardless of them making the right or wrong decisions, as long as they learn from these experiences.

Roots of fairness, humility and integrity

Run autonomously by professional management teams, IJM has established best practices and has garnered many accolades over the years.

Principled values like humility and tenacity have stood the test of time for IJM to be recognised as a trustworthy, credible and highly respected organisation.

These values are embraced and practised wholeheartedly, driven from the top senior leadership in IJM as they are the role models that people look up to. When entrusted with responsibilities, IJM-ers would ensure that they deliver what is expected of them.

IJM also recognises their people based on meritocracy. While one upholds all the right values as a leader, one also needs to prove their mettle to grow and make it far in their career with IJM.

Soam, who came across to us as affable and very down-to-earth, shares, “Some things should never change even after the baton of leadership has been passed on from one generation to another. These include diligence, perseverance and integrity.

“More importantly, be humble and adaptable in everything you do. Always be in touch with the people that you lead to know what is really happening on the ground. Remember that you are the bridge builder that connects and bonds your people.”

Bringing it all together

Soam, who practises collaborative and inclusive leadership, acknowledges that the achievements of IJM are attributed to every IJM-er who has played their respective part throughout the years, displaying commendable teamwork at every level.

“Credit goes to all IJM-ers who made things happen, and I am confident we will continue to drive the organisation to greater heights,” concludes Soam.

Indeed, the IJM of today is built upon a solid foundation: the culture of good governance, high performance culture and the philosophy of shared destiny. This is a story worth sharing.

On Soam’s leadership

“Visionary and dynamic with high-level of perseverance and energy to overcome hurdles. He is a leader who walks the talk, and even walks the extra mile. He means business, yet he’s a caring boss who takes the time to listen and get to know everyone, including the tea lady.
He maintains an open door policy for all IJM-ers to reach out to him. It has been a great blessing to have worked under him.”
Hoo Kim See, senior general manager, Property division

“He’s very approachable and makes us feel at ease whenever we are with him. He’s also very open to new ideas and insights.”
Puvendran Shanmugam, senior executive, Learning and development


IJM giving a voice to its people in the workspace

In corporate Malaysia, IJM has taken the lead to become the first public listed company here to introduce Facebook at Work, a collaborative tool catered for organisations, to be used by all IJM-ers across countries and business divisions.

IJM Deputy CEO

IJM deputy CEO Lee Chun Fai

IJM deputy CEO Lee Chun Fai shares with Leaderonomics, “The gap we identified with our previous intranet system was its limited level of interactivity. Communications were very much one-directional and e-mails were not engaging enough.

“We were in the midst of revamping our system when we chanced upon this user-friendly platform. After our internal assessment, we really felt it made business sense to jump into it sooner, rather than later.”

At the forefront of this initiative is Soam himself, a baby boomer who is relatively new to social media prior to the rollout, but now has been actively using this tool and driving its use among IJM-ers.

“We recognise that Facebook at Work is a vital tool to enhance our corporate 3C goals: connect, communicate and collaborate. A trial run of the platform has gotten IJM-ers excited on how it has greatly helped them at work,” says Soam.

Bridging gaps through communication

Dissemination of information and knowledge sharing among peers and leaders are now instantaneous. Facebook at Work has provided a great and mobile-friendly platform for employees to bond as one IJM family at a deeper level through the various social groups such as Toastmasters and the Wellness groups.

Besides social activities, IJM-ers are now easily accessible from wherever they are in the current borderless world for discussions as long as they have smart phones and Internet connection. With the familiar interface of Facebook, IJM-ers have transitioned to Facebook At Work seamlessly.

Not only does it bridge generational gaps, this tool also “flattens the organisation” by bridging the employer-employee and senior-junior relationship gaps.

“It’s encouraging to see more people at the senior level opening up and engaging with the younger ones through this platform. It’s a sign of changing times where leaders make themselves reachable, approachable and relevant to the millennials,” explains Lee.

Connecting the engagement dots

This collaborative tool has created a work environment where people actually look forward to coming to work. It makes perfect sense. It has created a sense of a close-knitted IJM community where success stories and celebrations are shared, besides giving a face to every IJM-er in the organisation.

“By seeing it for yourself the intellectual work-related idea sharing and social conversations that are in Facebook at Work, you realise that we are actually quite fun, and very happening too,” says Soam proudly.

“With Facebook at Work, you also have the liberty to choose which work or social groups you want to follow, similar to how our personal Facebook account works.

“By doing this, you customise the type of information you want to know according to your preference. Best of all, you are aware of the things that are happening across IJM business divisions instantaneously. This has definitely brought IJM-ers from around the world and across divisions closer,” adds Lee.

Indefinitely, that is key to engage your employees so they will always create an organisational culture that thrives on authentic relationships and partnerships among themselves. After all, an actively engaged employee is also your strongest advocate for your organisation.

Uniting hearts and minds through collaboration

It is common to hear that as an organisation expands and grows, we find ourselves asking what our other co-workers in different departments or business units are doing, or what projects they are currently undertaking.

On one hand, you get a scenario where you don’t get enough information about company updates and on the other hand, you find yourself being fed with too much irrelevant information via e-mail or other forms of communication. And sometimes, information does not reach the intended person timely, or much time is spent waiting for a decision maker to make the final call.

In this regard, Lee adds, “The time taken for certain decisions to be made because the boss is out of reach physically can now be shortened drastically because everyone is basically connected on this platform.

“With open and transparent dialogue via Facebook at Work, discussion points are not lost and quick decisions can be made to get things moving.”

While IJM has given a voice to all its employees to share knowledge, it is also a fitting platform to bounce ideas, expedite learning among IJM-ers, and for fellow IJM-ers to collaborate as a team in projects. The IJM-ers, being shareholders themselves, then get to know and appreciate the roles and contributions of their colleagues better.

This platform has allowed for best practices, creative and innovative solutions, and insights to be shared in the organisation to be adopted and embraced by every IJM-er. It is no longer about an individual’s growth, but about IJM’s growth as a whole, with IJM-ers learning together and moving forward as one.

Truly a game changer

There is no escaping the digital age for any organisation. IJM has taken the lead in embracing it because their leaders realise that for an organisation to grow and accelerate, there needs to be an operating culture that is effective and collaborative.

It starts by uniting the hearts and minds of its people through a common platform where everyone is on the same page and aligned to the same purpose. The journey of IJM into the future landscape of our borderless workforce has just begun.

What IJM-ers are saying about Facebook At Work

“Information among colleagues is now a click away. Facebook at Work rocks!”
Ivan Tan Chee Yen, Construction manager, Construction division

“This platform is so powerful! Not only does it boost people’s morale, it also touches the hearts of IJM-ers when we appreciate and care for each other.”
Choy Teik San, General manager of production and purchasing, Industry division

“This tool allows us to connect among colleagues, communicate with the bosses and collaborate with other divisions in IJM. It’s awesome!”
Mohd Halmiee Saharudin, Senior executive, Corporation communications toll division

“I feel a sense of belonging in our big IJM family because we are constantly updated with the latest IJM happenings.”
Tony Chong, Manager of architectural and product development, Property division

“Facebook at Work makes me feel connected to my colleagues, events and initiatives in Malaysia even though I am based here in India.”
Harjeet Singh a/l Daya Singh, General manager, Accounts and finance

Check out how you can be a part of IJM family at www.ijm.com. For more Company Profiles, click here

4 Simple Steps For Parents To Raise Leaders From Young

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By ROHINI RAJARATNAM

You know how they say charity begins at home? Likewise, leadership too. Look at it this way: a family is like a company, the children are the interns, and the parents are the managers.

As your children watch you every day, they absorb your behaviour like a sponge. Also at a young age, a child is most influenced by his parents. Hence, your behaviour is most likely mirrored by your children, which means leadership actually starts with you.

There is indeed a strong link between leadership and parenting. Parents hold the key to tomorrow’s future and it is important to do it with your children if you want to make a change.

So, where does one start?

1. Understand your child

The first step in teaching someone is to first understand how they work and what works best. Working with a child’s personality, a parent needs to learn how best to develop that child’s individual traits and abilities.

This also involves tempering traits that are left unchecked which could become a liability in the future. For example, an assertive, outgoing personality is a great trait in a leader, but without self-control it can be seen as overly aggressive and controlling.

2. Teach them independence

Success in business and in life is driven by risk. When parents go overboard in protecting their children, they don’t allow them to take risks or experience failure.

This can become an issue as they may grow up having difficulties facing failure head-on, even though setbacks are essentials to succeed as a leader. However, don’t rub it in their face either. Just be there for your child when they fail.

3. Show some appreciation

It is good to show appreciation once in a while and praise your children for their achievements to build a healthy sense of self-esteem. However, piling on the praise doesn’t give them more self-esteem.

Children need to believe in themselves and to develop the self-confidence required to become the best versions of themselves, but if you gush every time they put pen to paper or kick a ball (the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality), this creates confusion and false confidence.

Show your children how proud you are of their passion and effort; just don’t paint them as superstars when you know it isn’t true.

4. Organise more activities

Once you have understood your child, it would be much easier to identify his interests and dislikes. Encourage your child to take part in team activities either through scouting troops, sports or even camping trips.

A child needs to learn from a young age about how:

  • being a leader involves being able to work in a group, and
  • to lead that group towards a common aim.

Why not try this?

When you go to a restaurant, instead of placing orders for your children, how about slowly turning it into a simple confidence-building exercise by having your children speak directly to servers?

Allowing them to order and speak directly to servers will help them gain confidence, while encouraging them to communicate what they need.

Rohini believes in the magical powers of coffee. She also believes that the workplace should be fun and fulfilling! To find out about our leadership philosophy in developing leaders from every stage of life, e-mail us at people@leaderonomics.com. To read more Try This articles, click here.

Leadership Lessons From The Man Who Created The Tata Nano

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By SANDY CLARKE

When we think of what a great leader should be, we have in mind qualities such as integrity, humility, passion and commitment towards a vision.

While it’s easy to expound on the abilities of effective leaders, great leadership is a difficult task to undertake, let alone carry forward successfully, building credibility, respect and a legacy along the way.

But one such man has managed to exemplify the idea of what it takes to be a great leader. Ratan Tata spent 21 years at the helm of Tata Sons, from 1991–2012, and in that time helped the company to realise annual revenues of US$100bil (RM400bil) and made a number of impressive acquisitions including Tetley, Jaguar Land Rover, and Corus.

One of Tata’s standout qualities is his humility, which was with him when he joined the Tata Group in 1961. His first role saw him on the shop floor of Tata Steel, shovelling limestone and handling the blast furnace, as he sought to understand the company and its values from the ground up.

Planting the right seeds from the start is key.

Planting the right seeds from the start is key.

Tata’s leadership commands respect throughout the world, which is highlighted by the numerous prestigious awards bestowed upon him. To name just a few, in 2014 he was awarded the Honorary Knight Grand Cross of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire by the United Kingdom, and was presented with the Padma Vibhushan in 2008 and Padma Bhushan in 2000, the second and third highest civilian honours awarded by the Government of India.

Despite retiring from executive responsibilities in 2012, Tata continues to serve as the chairman of the main two Tata trusts, Sir Dorabji Tata Trust and Sir Ratan Tata Trust, and their associated Trusts, as well as maintaining a number of non-executive advisory positions.

One of Tata’s most famous innovations was the Tata Nano – a project in which he was instrumental – the purpose of which was to bring affordable cars to Indians in an effort to reduce the use of motorcycles. At the time of the Nano’s launch in 2008, pricing was around US$1,500 (RM6,000), but has since risen to around US$2,000 (RM8,000). Nevertheless, the car still maintains its “world’s cheapest car” claim.

The success of Tata Sons under Ratan Tata’s stewardship, and the social change he has seen manifest thanks to the company’s innovations, make the Harvard-educated Indian one of the great leaders of Asia, if not the world.

So what can be learned from Tata’s leadership? What does it take to be a great leader and to continually adapt, grow and succeed?

Here are just some of the leadership lessons that can be learned from Tata’s remarkable journey:

1. Communicate clearly and often

If there’s one quality leaders often lack, it’s the ability to set out their vision clearly – and to listen to the people who are assisting you on the road to success. One-way communication is rarely effective communication.

Ratan says: “Far more is gained by walking on the shop floor and communicating with the people. Communication is an exceedingly important function for any chairman to do and to be visible in that sense.”

2. Don’t be afraid of taking risks

All great leaders throughout history took risks as part of their success. Some risks were calculated, while others were more of a gamble. But the overriding principle to being innovative and creating change is that it takes something never done before in order to bring the seemingly impossible to life.

Ratan says: “Where did Microsoft, Apple, Amazon, Google and Facebook come from? They came from ideas that people felt something could be done, and that they could make a difference.”

3. Never discount the value of trust

You can be a great innovator, an inspirational speaker, an efficient problem-solver and a leader who makes a killer coffee. However, none of that will mean much at all if you lack trust in people, or people lack trust in you or your organisation.

Ratan says: “Trust is the psychological bond between you and your customer, your workers, and stakeholders. Without trust, you run the risk of being a superficial entrepreneur based on criteria which are not truly fundamental to the manner in which you do business.”

4. Stay humble

Humility is one of those words that is freely bandied around, but the actual quality is less often practised. It is valuable precisely because it helps to keep leaders grounded without losing touch with reality, and enables them to view objectively their strengths and weaknesses and act accordingly to the interests of their organisation and the people it serves.

Ratan says: “If you sit next to a Nobel Laureate, they never tell you they have won a Nobel Prize – other people tell you.”

5. Be yourself. . . everyone else is taken

Tata is a far cry from the ebullient, trumpet-blowing cavalier that often caricatures great leadership. He instead cuts a reticent, soft-spoken, humble leader and serves as a great example that anyone can succeed – and perhaps stands a greater chance of success – by staying true to who they are.

Ratan says: “I realised the shoes I had to fill were far too big to mimic (taking over from his uncle J. R. D. Tata in 1991), and so I decided to be myself and that to do what I thought was right would be the way to go.”

Sandy wholeheartedly agrees with Tata’s leadership lessons, particularly the advice to be yourself. He believes authenticity in leadership is one of the key factors for success. To connect with Sandy—follow him on Twitter @RealSClarke. For more Be A Leader articles, click here.
At Leaderonomics, we see the process of building leaders as a science with fundamental principles and foreseeable dynamics. We offer over 100 programmes and courses that are crafted to develop corporate leaders. To find out more, e-mail us at training@leaderonomics.com.

What University Did Not Teach Me

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When I landed my first job out of university, I was young, excited, hopeful and naive. I was going to be part of a graduate management trainee programme with one of the country’s largest banks. Then, the reality of work life burst my little bubble.

By LIM KWAN-LYN

On paper, my degree could not have been more suited for the role. Having spent four years earning a Bachelor of Management Studies (Honours), with a double major in Finance and Marketing, I had developed a solid foundation in the areas of management—and topped this up with a good dose of financial understanding and insight into customers. I added trimmings too, holding down part-time jobs and volunteering throughout university life.

Like many management trainee programmes, my role was structured as four-month-long rotations over a two-year period. This was one of the main attractions for me, as variety has always appealed to me. I was, like half the people in their early twenties out there, still searching for what I wanted to do in life. I soon came to question my capabilities, that maybe, my personality wasn’t best suited for the role.

You see, one of the main highlights of programmes of this nature is that it can fast-track your learning and development within the organisation. But in order to do so, you need to be someone who grabs the spotlight, i.e. you need to demonstrate yourself as someone who can take initiatives, is sociable and is able to add value.

Even though I love people, I am naturally reserved and better at interacting in smaller groups of people. I enjoy coming up with ideas, but prefer listening and understanding the situation before rushing to offer my opinion.

Looking back, I probably came across as someone quiet (my small stature in a city where Asians are a minority did not help), someone who does a decent job but nothing more. I did not feel like I was shining, nor was I demonstrating all I had to offer.

I’m grateful to say that all was not lost and I met some great managers and mentors along the early years of my career. With their help and guidance, I was able to identify areas that I needed to work on, and considerations that I needed to be aware of when treading the murky waters of working life.

Interestingly enough, all these areas had a common theme—they are what universities do not teach you.

Let me share some concepts that were not taught in university:

Relationship management

The relationships you have with friends and family are different to the relationships you build at work. The relationships you build in a small workplace is once again different compared to the relationships you build in a larger workplace.

How do you ask a colleague you’ve never spoken to to get something done for you with nothing in return? How do you make sure that the next time you go back to them, you would have built a better relationship with them than the last time?

My initial struggle was being too “considerate” (and perhaps naive) when colleagues would pass on work requests to me, which then had a detrimental effect on my own deadlines.

I thus had to learn to tailor my approach to different people, to help them see the benefit of completing my work requests or sometimes, simply ask for help from a mentor or manager.

Personal branding

This is one that really struck me when I first heard about it at a graduate development session with the human resources team. During this session, I learnt that personal branding is how others perceive the value of work you are able to consistently deliver.

When you are part of a large organisation in particular, first impressions really count, and bad impressions spread. In other words, if you do a bad job, not only are you setting a bad impression with the colleague you were working with, but potentially with other people who speak to the colleague later on.

Another honest piece of advice I was given was to learn how to command attention. Naturally, a tall, athletic male (for example, Harvey Specter from the hit television show Suits) with a booming voice is able to command the attention of everyone in a meeting. People will, naturally, listen and feel like they need to abide by his requests. Whatever he says sounds credible because it is backed with natural confidence.

Someone who may not have those traits can learn to make up for it by being extra prepared for the meeting and by doing your research. Over time, people will notice that what you have to contribute is valuable and your personal brand will solidify over time.

Surviving workplace change

This was one of the toughest lessons that spanned nearly five years.

Starting out at the bank, I was full of hope and optimism. But by the end of the two-year programme, unexpected events at work—as a result of workplace change—came flying my way, often not within my own control or the control of my managers.

I experienced first-hand the aftermath of restructuring, miscommunication, and organisational silos. While I was able to overcome each of them, it perpetually put me under a stressful and trying time.

After a few years of having empty promises and unsubstantiated reasons thrown at me, I couldn’t help but feel a build of resentment towards the organisation.

The turning point came one sunny day, when I made some life-changing decisions. Instead of bottling up my frustrations, I shared it with my director and even sought out her advice on what she would do if she were in my shoes.

Rather than letting negative feelings takeover, I chose to focus on what I could be thankful for each day. And just like that, work got better. My expectations were better managed, there was a newfound transparency between myself and the organisation and doors started to open.

I learnt to stand up for myself, and it taught me the importance of finding opportunities during a time of change, rather than to get caught up in all the negativity and noise. I learnt that the first and most important step of surviving issues at the workplace begins with a positive mind.

Where I am today

Staring at my screen with my fingers typing away at my keyboard, I am writing this article as part of my sixth job out of university. I have grown, I am still excited, hopeful but more empowered. I’m not one who regrets the things I’ve done, but there have been times when I secretly wished I had learnt the importance of some of these areas that my university did not teach me earlier on. It would have saved me unwanted stress, dissatisfaction and tears, and made me a better employee.

Lim Kwan-Lyn is part of the Digital Learning team at Leaderonomics. She loves helping people connect the dots, be it in the business world, or by empowering others. One of her favourite aspects of the Digital Learning offering is that it includes courses that would help someone in the same shoes as herself, back in her early twentiesTo find out more about Digital Learning offered by Leaderonomics, e-mail us at learn@leaderonomics.com. For more Career Advice articles, click here
Kwan-Lyn is part of the Digital Learning team at Leaderonomics. She loves helping people connect the dots, be it in the business world, or by empowering others.

The Hard Truth About Teachers and Leaders

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By DARSHANA SIVANANTHAM

Teaching–one of the oldest professions in the world, if you come to think of it. Imagine going back in time to the Stone Age, where starting a fire would have probably been the most important skillset during a chilling winter.

Learning and refining this “specialised” skillset back then surely would’ve come from observing and imitating a fellow caveman. I’m quite certain some teaching of this skill was involved somewhere, albeit without much verbal communication.

One of the greatest teachers who has ever lived was Siddhartha Gautama Buddha, whose teachings on Buddhism reverberate through the entire world today. Buddha, who impressed upon millions the importance of transforming suffering into peace, joy and liberation, demonstrated how teaching with a clear purpose can create a wave of inspired and lasting change.

In today’s era where even YouTube can be a teacher (it’s true, there are enough self-made tutorials online for you to master anything), leaders sometimes question the relevance of teaching in their portfolio.

However, there are many reasons why great leaders (who are great teachers) transform and touch lives like no other.

Why should leaders teach?

A simple enough question. Perhaps an easier way to answer this question is to find the commonality between leading and teaching. What makes leaders great teachers? Studies have proven that the best teachers behave very much like the best leaders, because both focus on a common factor – transformational behaviour.

Transformational behaviour is one that influences and encourages growth, and motivates great performance. It reveals a culture that allows a person to emulate, understand, reflect and generate something beyond the constraints of the mind—this is what creates great ideas, plans and strategies. A leader who can teach someone to be all of this is indeed a great one.

In an article about the Leaders as Teachers approach, Neal Goodman says, “A key principle behind this approach is that no group of people has greater responsibility to drive the agenda of the organisation than its leaders.”

Here are three reasons why leaders should teach, especially in times where agility and synergy are two keywords every organisation seems to look at:

1. Great teachers communicate their vision clearly

I remember my Form 3 History teacher till this day. The way he taught us to understand history was never for the sake of answering exam questions; it was to share his vision in ensuring we understood the relevance of history in present times.
Similarly, when leaders “teach” the company vision clearly and continuously with their people, this creates a strong, synergistic company culture. There is no room for misinterpretation, and an opportunity arises for everyone to learn directly from the leader.

2. Great teachers care about making a real difference

A leader leads because of a deeper reason. Great leaders lead because they are driven to make a real change, to transform lives and rewrite history (as far as visionaries go!).

Great teachers care about making such changes, and are passionate about sharing this drive with everyone they come into contact with.
Leaders who put aside time to reiterate their focus and share organisational goals with their people, automatically reinforce their beliefs. This in turn can be the determining factor in motivating and inspiring others, or otherwise.

3. Great teachers know the importance of purposeful work

Purpose. A word that ignites a myriad of feelings in anyone who has questioned why they continue to do what they do, be it at work or anywhere else. A great teacher understands that finding purpose is key to happiness and satisfaction.

A leader who invests in teaching others to continuously find purpose in everything they do will have achieved a stupendous feat—allowing for individuals to grow and flourish without restraints, while understanding that purpose is at the heart of great work. Trust me, this is a feat that isn’t easily achieved in this day.

Teach by leading

For a leader to be a great teacher, the best way to teach is to lead by example. Dolly Parton couldn’t have said it better:

If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then, you are an excellent leader.

Darshana is a HR media specialist at Leaderonomics. A former PR consultant, photographer, and associate trainer, her career path has been anything but monotonous. How do you teach through your leadership journey? Write in to editor@leaderonomics.com and share your thoughts with us. To read more Try This articles, click here.

8 Powerful Ways to Mould Your Children Into Leaders

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By TRAVIS BRADBERRY

We all want our children to become leaders.

Whether they spend the bulk of their days in the mailroom or at the corner of the office, we want our children to grow to be courageous, passionate and authentic. We want their actions to inspire other people to be their best, to get more out of life than they ever thought possible.

As parents and caretakers of children, their path to leadership is in our hands.

We can model and teach the skills that will equip them to lead themselves and others in this hypercompetitive world, or we can allow them to fall victim to the kind of thinking that makes them slaves to the status quo.

It’s a big responsibility—but when isn’t being a parent a massive responsibility?

The beauty of building children into leaders is that it’s the little things we do every day that mould them into the people they’ll become.

Focus on the eight actions below, and you’ll build leadership in your children and yourself.

#1 Model emotional intelligence (EQ)

Emotional intelligence is that “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible; it affects how we manage behaviour, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.

Children learn emotional intelligence from their parents, plain and simple. As your children watch you every day, they absorb your behaviour like a sponge. Children are particularly attuned to your awareness of emotions, the behaviour you demonstrate in response to strong emotions, and how you react and respond to their emotions.

#2 Don’t obsess about achievement

Parents get sucked into obsessing about achievement because they believe that this will turn their children into high achievers. Instead, fixating on achievement creates all sorts of problems for kids. This is especially true when it comes to leadership, where focusing on individual achievement gives kids the wrong idea about how work gets done.

Simply put, the best leaders surround themselves with great people because they know they can’t do it alone. Achievement-obsessed children are so focused on awards and outcomes that they never fully understand this.

All they can see is the player who’s handed the MVP (Most Valuable Player) trophy and the celebrity chief executive officer who makes the news—they assume it’s all about the individual. It’s a rude awakening once they discover how real life works.

#3 Don’t praise too much

Children need praise to build a healthy sense of self-esteem. Unfortunately, piling on the praise doesn’t give them extra self-esteem.

Children need to believe in themselves and develop the self-confidence required to become successful leaders, but if you gush every time they put pen to paper or kick a ball (the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality), this creates confusion and false confidence.

Always show your children how proud you are of their passion and effort; just don’t paint them as superstars when you know it isn’t true.

#4 Allow them to experience risk and failure

Success in business and in life is driven by risk. When parents go overboard protecting their children, they don’t allow them to take risks and reap the consequences. When you aren’t allowed to fail, you don’t understand risk.

A leader can’t take appropriate risks until he or she knows the bitter taste of failure that comes with risking it all and coming up short.

The road to success is paved with failure. When you try to shield your children from failure in order to boost their self-esteem, they have trouble tolerating the failure required to succeed as a leader. Don’t rub their face in it either.

Children need your support when they fail. They need to know you care. They need to know that you know how much failure stings. Your support allows them to embrace the intensity of the experience and to know that they’ll make it through it all right. That, right there, is solid character building for future leaders.

#5 Say ‘No’

Overindulging children is a sure-fire way to limit their development as leaders. To succeed as a leader, one must be able to delay gratification and work hard for things that are really important. Children need to develop this patience.

They need to set goals and experience the joy that comes with working diligently towards them. Saying “no” to your children will disappoint them momentarily, but they’ll get over that. They’ll never get over being spoilt.

Day, childrens, international.

#6 Let children solve their own problems

There’s a certain self-sufficiency that comes with being a leader. When you’re the one making the calls, you should also be the one who needs to stay behind and clean up the mess they create.

When parents constantly solve their children’s problems for them, children never develop the critical ability to stand on their own two feet.

Children who always have someone swooping in to rescue them and clean up their mess spend their whole lives waiting for this to happen. Leaders take action. They take charge. They’re responsible and accountable. Make certain your children are as well.

#7 Walk your talk

Authentic leaders are transparent and forthcoming. They aren’t perfect, but they earn people’s respect by walking their talk.

Your children can develop this quality naturally, but only if it’s something they see you demonstrate.

To be authentic, you must be honest in all things—not just in what you say and do but also in who you are. When you walk your talk, your words and actions will align with who you claim to be. Your children will see this and aspire to do the same.

#8 Show that you’re human

No matter how indignant and defiant your children are at any moment, you’re still their hero and their model for the future.

This can make you want to hide your past mistakes for fear that they’ll be enticed to repeat them. The opposite is true. When you don’t show any vulnerability, your children develop intense guilt about every failure because they believe that they’re the only ones to make such terrible mistakes.

To develop as leaders, children need to know that the people they look up to aren’t infallible. Leaders must be able to process their mistakes, learn from them and move forward to be better people.

Children can’t do this when they’re overcome by guilt. They need someone—a real, vulnerable person—to teach them how to process mistakes and learn from them. When you show them how you’ve done this in the past, you’re doing just that.

Bringing it all together

We can mould our children into leaders, but only if we work at it. Few things in life are as worth your time and effort as this.

Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the co-founder of TalentSmart, the world’s leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or have been covered by, Newsweek, Businessweek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and Harvard Business Review. For more How To articles, click here.

Reposted with permission on www.leaderonomics.com.

Creating Burger Chemistry In The Lab

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By TAMARA JAYNE

Founded in 2012, myBurgerLab shows no sign of slowing down. It is no surprise then that their restaurants have a constant line of customers. The co-founder of myBurgerLab, Renyi Chin, shares his story with Leaderonomics’ Tamara Jayne on some of the challenges he faces in running this expanding business.

Treat that person right, he’ll walk out of the door and sell for you.

Q: Tell us a bit about your background.

I graduated with an engineering degree from The University of Nottingham. Worked part-time in a few cafés and restaurants during those days. That’s basically where I got a taste of the service industry and can safely say I fell in love with the craft of serving.

I have started several small business ventures prior to myBurgerLab, including a Groupon concept clone. Lessons were learnt and I try to apply my past experiences into the business that is myBurgerLab.

Q: What made you decide to start myBurgerLab?

There are a few factors that contributed to me taking on this path. I started getting a taste of the food and beverage (F&B) industry when I was in college working at Starbucks. It was then that I realised how much I enjoyed making people happy through serving. I also enjoyed cooking and hosting small parties, most of which were barbeque events and burgers were always on the menu.

Fast forward a couple years later during my first year of university, I decided not to pursue the engineering internship programme and opted for the Work and Travel United States of America (USA) experience.

Photo courtesy of National Park Service.

Photo courtesy of National Park Service.

Basically, it’s a programme that allows you to travel to the USA, work there for 3–4 months and then travel around the country using the money you have earned.

I found myself stationed at Yellowstone National Park for three months. One day, while hiking in the backcountry, I had an epiphany. I felt that life is more than this and I needed to do my own thing.

I needed to do something that makes ME happy. Well, at that time, I had no idea what that was, but the potential of being an engineer working in the corporate world was just something I didn’t fancy too much.

During my travels in San Francisco, I came upon In-N-Out (a McDonald’s of sorts but everything was cooked fresh). I had the burger and that made me go WOW!

All I said then was: “Someone needs to do this in Malaysia!”

Three years later, after graduating with a degree in mechanical engineering, I decided to not get a job in the industry immediately and worked in a few cafés to gain more experience in the F&B world. It was a few months after that that it clicked in my head:” Hey, let’s start my own café!”

I roped in two of my friends whom I trusted and they had the skill sets to make this work. Slowly, the idea of a café transformed itself into the burger joint that you see today.

Q: As you are one of the co-founders of myBurgerLab, are there any challenges you faced with the other co-founders of the company and how did you get through them?

As it is with most partnerships, heads are bound to lock when making decisions in regards to growing the business. Fortunately, our relationship is very amicable and we realised since day one as long as we keep the communication channels open, almost everything can be resolved. So to date, there hasn’t been any major disagreement or squabble among the directors or partners.

Q: What are some of the major stresses and challenges you face in running this business?

The first year of the business is the honeymoon period so all the “problems” and “challenges” were just seen as “games” and learning curves. Fast forward three years, my current challenges usually revolve around managing the people we work with. Training them and developing them takes time and a lot of effort.

Apart from that, making sure that the business is sustainable in this volatile industry is also a bit of a challenge. With so many new concept restaurants popping up every week, customers have more choices than ever before and as we are going into our fourth year, we need to work extra hard to convince customers that we are still relevant.

Q: What are some lessons you learnt in the process from taking a risk in starting a business of your own?
It’s always harder to do it alone, not impossible but harder. So for me, having the right partners and team in the business help the process of growing the business a lot easier.

Q: What are some mistakes or failures you might have made and how did you learn from them?
Biting more than I can chew. As the business grew, it demanded more and more attention in various departments. I tend to take on more roles and try to go get involved in each of them, which is a big mistake. So, I learn to train the right people to do the job and slowly let go of things and trust the team to perform on its own.

Another mistake I made was being too stubborn in my principles on how the business should be executed, which resulted in a slower financial growth.

Sometimes, the principle of operating one outlet versus several outlets varies greatly and the costs do not always go down as you expand. Changes need to be made to make sure the business is viable as you grow.

P11_2805_myBurgerlab2

Q: How do you handle difficult clients if you have had any?
Treat everyone with respect and dignity. That’s our general rule of thumb. Being in the service industry, apart from always having to be on our feet, we constantly have to be putting ourselves in the customer’s shoe.

That’s the secret to good service basically. So, by setting the right foundation in the mind-set of our staff, we usually avoid the most difficult customers (as they are usually the cause of bad service in the first place).

If and when the situation does arise, we simply listen to what the customer has to say, acknowledge it and then react positively to it. It’s almost a 99% guarantee that it can be resolved in all situations.

 

 

 

Q: Do you have any future plans or goals you would like to achieve?
One of the goals that we have set out since day one was to create an impact in the local food scene, not just on the retail front but also as a support system.

So an incubation or coaching platform of sorts for anyone interested in entering the F&B world (with and without training) could benefit from such an initiative.

Besides that, I would also like to get involve in other genre of restaurants especially in the more economical end of the market.

Q: What do you do to de-stress or to unwind?
I would usually go to Bukit Gasing in Petaling Jaya for a short hike just to be by myself and be amongst nature. Apart from that, an occasional meetup with friends over drinks would do the trick as well.

Q: Any final comments for your readers?

The F&B scene is very unforgiving. Think twice and hard before embarking on this journey. It’s a lot of hard work and perseverance. A lot of times, the public has a misconception of how “easy” the business of food is.

What they see and read are the success stories but in reality, the rate of failure is, in fact, daunting. As for those who seem to be doing okay, they are usually breaking even at most. I once heard a restaurateur of fifteen years say, “If you have an enemy, recommend him to start a restaurant. He will die a slow death.”

Jokes aside, I’m imploring this to anyone out there thinking of venturing into the food scene to do your research and homework. While the industry has its own rewards, one should ask oneself, are the trials and tribulation of building a restaurant something one can handle?

Treat everyone with respect and dignity. That’s our general rule of thumb.

As it is with most partnerships, heads are bound to lock when making decisions in regards to growing the business. . .as long as we keep the communication channels open, almost everything can be resolved.

P11_2805_Renyi Chin
Renyi is the Creative Director of myBurgerLab and also co-founder of Good Food Alliance – a coalition of restaurateurs in KL and PJ. His role at myBurgerLab shifts between product development, operations, marketing and branding. An engineer by education but an educator and hospitality mentor at heart. For more A Day In The Life articles, click here.

4 Things Successful Leaders Do To Empower Employees

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By MARSHALL GOLDSMITH

As a manager or leader, do you let your people assume more responsibility when they are able? Do you know when that is, or do you keep telling yourself that they aren’t ready yet?

In my travels around the world, I talk with thousands of people every year who want to be treated as “partners” rather than as employees.

They want information to flow up as well as down. But, oftentimes, leaders do not want to give up control.

I knew a chief executive officer who was the leader of one of the world’s largest global organisations. He received feedback that he was too stubborn and opinionated. He learnt that he needed to do a better job of letting others make decisions and to focus less on being right himself.

He practised this simple technique for one year: before speaking, he would take a breath and ask himself, “Is it worth it?” He learnt that 50% of the time his comments may have been right on, but they weren’t worth it.

He quickly began focusing more on empowering others and letting them take ownership and commitment for decisions, and less on his own need to add value.

Your employees understand their jobs. They know their tasks, roles, and functions within the organisation, and it’s time for you to let them do what they need to do to get the job done.

But there is a critical point that is often missed: It isn’t possible for a leader to “empower” someone to be accountable and make good decisions. People have to empower themselves.

Your role is to encourage and support the decision-making environment, and to give employees the tools and knowledge they need to make and act upon their own decisions. By doing this, you help your employees reach an empowered state.

The process does take longer—employees will only believe they are empowered when they are left alone to accomplish results over a period of time—but it’s effective and worth the time.

If a company has a history of shutting down or letting go of initiators, for instance, the leader can’t just tell employees, “You are empowered to make decisions.”

Part of building an empowering environment is dependent on the leader’s ability to run interference on behalf of the team. The leader needs to make sure people are safe doing their jobs.

To make sure this happens, an ongoing discussion of the needs, opportunities, tasks, obstacles, projects, what is working and what is not working is absolutely critical to the development and maintenance of a “safe” working environment.

You are likely to spend a lot of time in dialogue with other leaders, employees, team members, and peers.

Following are four things successful leaders do to build environments that empower people.

1. Give power to those who have demonstrated the capacity to handle the responsibility.

2. Create a favorable environment in which people are encouraged to grow their skills.

3. Don’t second-guess others’ decisions and ideas unless it’s absolutely necessary. This only undermines their confidence and keeps them from sharing future ideas with you.

4. Give people discretion and autonomy over their tasks and resources.

Parting thoughts

Successful leaders and managers today are willing to exercise their leadership in such a way that their people are empowered to make decisions, share information, and try new things.

Most employees (future leaders) see the value in finding empowerment and are willing to take on the responsibilities that come with it.

If future leaders have the wisdom to learn from the experience of present leaders, and if present leaders have the wisdom to build an environment that empowers people, both will share in the benefits!

Marshall Goldsmith is the author of 35 books, which have sold over two million copies and have been translated into 30 languages. E-mail us your thoughts on belief triggers at editor@leaderonomics.com. For more Be A Leader articles, click here.

Reposted with permission on www.leaderonomics.com.

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