The different belief systems and practices within single Asian families and the confusion they create

By CHRISTIAN STEWART

It is often said that the first generation creates the wealth, but that it is the second generation that creates the legacy.

In an overseas Chinese family business (“CFB”), the traditional approach is for the founder to leave the ownership of the business in equal shares among all of the legitimate heirs. In the past, this meant all of the sons.

However, it is more common these days to see all of the children of the founder becoming equal shareholders when the founder passes, if not before then. In the stereotypical CFB, the founder is also the father and the head of the family.

While the founder is alive, the family is kept together and works together in the business. Sometimes, the surviving spouse of the founder can also keep the family united in the same way.

But what happens when the founder is no longer around? Can the siblings work together as equal owners to continue the family firm?

Family governance expert, James E. Hughes, the author of Family Wealth: Keeping it in the Family (Bloomberg Press) notes that in his experience, the members of the second generation will either see themselves as an “Inheritor” or as a “Steward”.

Two different paradigms

What do we mean by a “Steward”? This term refers to a member of the second generation who wants to work together with his/her fellow siblings to see the family firm continue under family ownership.

They see themselves as being under an obligation to pass on the family firm as a legacy asset to the next generation. To such a person, legacy is important. A “Steward” is likely to be emotionally committed to the family firm.

 
This might interest you: Raise Your Game: Understanding The Principles Of Ownership And Stewardship
 

On the other hand, an “Inheritor” sees their ownership in simple financial terms. Such a person is more like an arms-length investor.

Importantly, they want to be their own person, and they do not want to feel like they have to work together with their other siblings. Under our definition, they may lack emotional commitment to the family firm.

In terms of family culture, a person who is a “Steward” has an inward looking orientation. This means they tend to look in towards the family unit.

A person who is an “Inheritor” looks outward. This means they tend to look away from the family unit and they like their independence.

By definition, the paradigm of a “Steward” is very different from the paradigm of an “Inheritor”.

Hughes further notes that in his experience:

• Neither of these two paradigms is inherently right or wrong. There should be no question of judgement or blame involved here.
• You cannot convince an Inheritor to become a Steward.
• It is vitally important that all the siblings who are owners in the family firm can have “adult-adult” conversations about whether, as an individual, they see themselves as a Steward, or as an Inheritor.
• It is often the relationship between the founder and the siblings that will determine where each of the siblings comes out on this question.

1. Where they are all inheritors

If all the siblings see themselves as individual Inheritors, you know there is little point in attempting to get them to work together as a family team. Family teamwork and the skills required is not an aspect of the Inheritor paradigm.

If all of the second-generation owners see themselves as Inheritors, they may still decide to keep their shares intact together out of economic necessity, to pool their financial capital.

However, in this event they will be more like a group of unrelated investors.

In this scenario, the family firm can be continued if one of the siblings manages to buy out the shares of the others so that this individual can become a controlling shareholder, and in a sense, the new “founder”. This is known as “recycling” the family firm.

In the absence of the emergence of a new controlling shareholder in the second generation, it is reasonable to predict that a CFB controlled by a group of Inheritors will disintegrate, either as a result of internal family conflicts, or at the stage when the shares start to pass to the cousin generation.

2. Where they are all stewards

The second scenario is one where all of the second-generation owners see themselves as Stewards. By our definition, this implies an intention, a motivation, to want to work together.

However, will good intentions be enough to make a difference?

• You could have a group of Stewards who feel very committed to the family legacy, but who still struggle to work together because they lack the necessary skills for effective communicating, decision making and conflict resolution, and because they don’t know how to overcome the tendencies of their family system (i.e. family dynamics) that are inappropriate for the business system.Having good intentions is one thing. Having the rights skills is another thing.
• It is often said that power corrupts. You could have a group who define themselves as Stewards, but who cannot really work together because of politics or power struggles.Stewardship and working together imply a need for participation and “fair process”. If there is a sibling who seeks to be too authoritarian, to be too directive in their leadership style, expect that there will be some problems with the group.
• You could have a family that are all Stewards and are fully committed to working together but where there is a lot of confusion over family, ownership and management roles. Most conflicts in a family business are “role conflicts”.Fortunately, typical role conflicts can be predicted and therefore planned for. The important tasks in this scenario will include creating good boundaries between family and business; and between ownership and management.

The good news is that a group of Stewards is likely going to have the motivation to do the work necessary to improve their skills at working together and to adopt good family business governance structures and processes.

This includes cultivating emotional commitment to the family firm.

3. A mix of stewards and inheritors

The third alternative is that some members of the second generation will see themselves as Stewards, and some will see themselves as Inheritors.

The third scenario is the case where there is a mix of views. In practice, this is likely to be the most common scenario.

The danger with this third scenario is that it has the potential to paralyse things if the siblings are unable to discuss and reconcile their differing views.

If some are Inheritors, in an Asian family, the Stewards may not be comfortable to move ahead on their own while leaving the Inheritors out of it because they fear this will imply the family is not united. Accordingly the group gets stuck.

 
Read this: Why a Succession Line is Crucial for Businesses
 

A way to reframe this third scenario into a more positive light is to realise that a healthy family is one that can balance the desire to be together (something the Stewards feel comfortable with) with the desire to be your own person (which is what the Inheritors want).

Logically a family system in this third scenario has both ends of the spectrum and just needs to find a way to integrate balance.

Summary of the three scenarios often found in Asian family businesses.

What is your ownership philosophy?

This leads onto Hughes’s next proposition which is that members of the second generation need to be able to have “adult-adult” conversations about whether each individual regards themselves as a Steward or as an Inheritor.

Before examining this concept of an “adult-adult” conversation, why should it be important for the sibling shareholders to be able to have such conversations?

These two groups will have different goals and expectations for their share ownership. They are two different types of owners.

The two groups could be expected to have different time horizons, risk appetites, liquidity needs, and maybe different expectations for how the company should be managed.

If the shareholders are not even able to acknowledge their fundamental differences of viewpoint, if they are not able to “agree to disagree”, or if they are unable to discuss mechanisms for bridging their differences, there will be no leadership for the family firm.

If the shareholders are frozen or in confusion, how do the directors know how to govern the business?

How can you plan for the future if you are not able to talk about what each owner, as an adult, really wants to do?

Form should follow function

Another reason is that “form should follow function”. For example, any trust structures or family agreements should be drafted to take into account whether you are looking at the first (all Inheritors), second (all Stewards) or third (a mix) scenario.

The way a group of Stewards would want a family trust structure set up, or for a family shareholders agreement to be drafted, could be very different from the way a group of Inheritors would do it.

Adult-adult conversations

What is an adult-adult conversation?

Hughes says that an adult-adult conversation is one where siblings can look at each other and listen to each other as adults, not based on their family roles as developed since childhood, and not based on the roles as defined for them by the business founder.

In a family, roles and characters are defined from an early stage. It is common that one sibling will look at another sibling through a lens frozen in time. Nevertheless, life is about growth and cycles of change.

An adult-adult conversation then is one in which each sibling can look at the other through the lens of the current reality.

It is a conversation where you can seek to understand the other while knowing that you are not able to control their view, and they are not able to control your view.

In an adult-adult conversation, you are not able to impose your perception of what someone else “should” or “ought” or “must” do; or what “father would have wanted”.

You cannot invoke “family obligation or duty” against your sibling. Such conversations require a respect for differences.

It includes being able to agree to disagree, and being able to work with people who have different views from yours.

Conclusion

There are two paths for increasing the chances of successfully perpetuating the life of an Asian family business and continuing the family legacy.

The first way is through consolidation of the share ownership and bringing the family firm back under the centralised authority of a single owner.

The second path can open up if the siblings, or a sufficient number of them, see themselves as a group of Stewards. However “Stewardship” should be seen as an intention or motive to want to work together.

These positive intentions will need to be backed up by the necessary actions, work and skills to convert intention into reality. Stewards will also need to adopt sound family business governance practices.

Finally, a group of siblings who are unable to have adult-adult conversations about whether they are each Stewards or Inheritors are likely to find themselves stuck and unable to make plans for the future.

Christian Stewart is the managing director of Family Legacy Asia (www.familylegacyasia.com), a process consulting firm that works with successful Asian family enterprises and advises on family firm governance and succession issues. Send us your feedback at editor@leaderonomics.com.

To engage Leaderonomics for your organisational succession planning needs, contact us at info@leaderonomics.com.

 
Reposted with permission.

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By KARIN HURT

As a leader, how do you foster better communication in your team? How do you ensure they’re picking up what you’re putting down? How do you help them get it?

It had been a long night… and morning… and afternoon at the airport.

The kind where cancellations and delays compound into a complex verb of frustration that includes four letters.

The kind where you start to notice the characters around you and make up their stories.

I had pegged the guy next to me for a Baptist preacher.

Among other signs, it was how he earnestly offered to watch my things as I went to the bathroom: “Ma’am I’ve been watching ladies’ purses for decades. I watch my wife’s purse. I watch my girl’s purses. I watch my wife’s friend’s friends’ purses. So whatever you need. I’m your purse-watching man.”

And I trusted him.

He was on the phone when I came back from the bathroom.

He silently nodded and grinned toward my big red purse, which also serves as a computer bag, dongle carrier, journal holder, with nooks and crannies for light snacks and kombucha.

Nope, definitely not Baptist preacher – he’s a bankruptcy lawyer.

Now I’m intrigued and can’t help but overhear his conversation occurring in such a beautiful Southern drawl it would have been fun to hear, even if I couldn’t understand the words.

“Now my wife says I hear okay, but I don’t listen too good. Let me repeat what I’m hearing you say you want to do.”  

Silence as the caller responds. Then…

“You see sir, my wife is right. That is just not one of the options. Let me be clear. You can’t do that. How about this? Let me share with you your three options again.”

He gives three options. Then…

“You sleep on it. Call your Momma or talk to your wife… and then we’ll talk again tomorrow.”

Image | via Success magazine

READ: Are You Listening?

Check for understanding 

I’m beside myself. This is the most remarkable Winning Well check for understanding I’ve ever heard. Full-on confident humility.

“Sir, thank you so much for watching my bag, and indeed you are a remarkable purse-watcher. And I couldn’t help but to overhear… What you did there was brilliant.

You see I wrote this book… and my co-author (now fiancé, but that’s another story) and I had this remarkable disagreement about whether the ‘check for understanding’ should be included.

I thought it was too simple. He swore it was a vital concept. As we’ve been doing workshops, guess what’s one of the top 10 takeaways?

The funny part is, the higher the managers are in the organisation, the more they love it.

It’s so easy.  

‘Do a simple check to understand… are they picking up what you’re putting down?’

Instead of ‘Any questions?’ or ‘Are you with me?’ 

You ask… ‘Okay, so I just want to check to ensure we’re all on the same page…’ and then get them to repeat. ‘What are we going to do first? And then? By when?’”

Conclusion

His pearl of wisdom: “Karin, I’ve been doing this for years. When people are going through bankruptcy or periods of change and uncertainty they hear what they want to − not necessarily what’s true. I give them a way to hear it again.”

There’s real power in hearing what your team hears. That’s a great start for fostering better communication.

Karin Hurt is a keynote speaker, leadership consultant, and MBA professor. She has decades of experience in sales, customer service, and HR which she uses to help clients turn around results through deeper engagement. She knows the stillness of a yogi, the reflection of a marathoner, and the joy of being a mom raising emerging leaders. To engage with Karin, email us at editor@leaderonomics.com.

Reposted with permission.

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Early exposure to different languages does not only build a child’s intelligence, but it also lays the foundation for good leadership skills later in life by promoting social cohesion, deeper understanding of cultures and better decision making.

In this Raise Your Game session, Leaderonomics Managing Editor Lydia Gomez and Digital Initiatives Lead Arun Kumar talk about how learning different languages with the use of technology, can help ease and even enhance communication in a seamless world.

Image | 123rf

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Previous podcast: What I learnt from Steve Wozniak, Co-founder of Apple

If you would like engage with us to facilitate more engaging conversations in your organisation, email us at info@leaderonomics.com. To know more about what Leaderonomics does as a social enterprise, check out www.leaderonomics.org. For our other Raise Your Game podcasts, click here.

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Effective listening is the ability to actively comprehend information given by a speaker regardless of any form of communication. In other words, it determines the effectiveness of an interaction when it allows individuals to retain information by showing interest, in-depth focus and active feedback to the other participant in a communication exchange. However, not every conversation proves to be a mutual success for both parties.

Our Leaderonomics’ Digital Learning Content Development Specialist, Nik Nur Maryam Najihah shares her thoughts with Freda Liu in today’s Raise Your Game session on BFM89.9.

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Previous post: Influence & Leadership — A Teacher’s Journey

If you would like engage with us to facilitate more engaging conversations in your organisation, email us at info@leaderonomics.com. To know more about what Leaderonomics does as a social enterprise, check out www.leaderonomics.org. For our other Raise Your Game podcasts, click here.

The post Effective Listening Skills: React or Respond? appeared first on Leaderonomics.com.

Besides mentoring business and political leaders worldwide in media skills, public speaking, and conference presentations, Laudi is a much-sought-after speaker, conference anchor, and panel moderator at business events.

Leaderonomics Founder & CEO, Roshan Thiran sat down with Laudi to explore his past experiences the hallmark of a leader and more.

Watch the full interview below:

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Three stepping stones on your journey to success

By JOANNE LOVE

Not everyone is a success.

Yes, you read that correctly! Maybe if they were aware of some simple fundamentals, they could attain more personal success. After all, everyone, at some stage of their life wants to be a success.

Success could mean getting married and having kids or it could be the desire to win a gold medal, to be rich or famous, or even just the desire to do something good and make a positive impact in the world.

Regardless of the reason, this undying need to achieve success at some point of our lives, is what propels us to choose the paths we take.

When I think about success, the analogy of a politician propagating about how he is going to change the world, comes to mind.

Just like a politician, many people strive for success and make promises to move towards this goal, but with each twist and turn, they fail to plan for or make excuses about why they can’t attain what they so desperately want.

The sad part is that many who try will never reach their goal, and this sadness can often be soul-crushing.

However, everyone has the ability to shape the circumstances to support a journey towards success, by utilising three elements: courage, communication and confidence.  

Courage – are you prepared to fail? 

Failure can feel absolutely devastating.

But, before you throw in the towel, you need to understand what the pathway to success truly looks like.

Many assume that failure means giving up and retreating to a lesser, easier goal, but that could not be further from the truth.

Failure is part of the journey towards success.

While we will never be rewarded for our failures, the lessons they teach are often the stepping stone to our later success.

We only need to look at those who have taken that route before: Walt Disney, Thomas Edison, J.K. Rowling and Oprah Winfrey.

Confidence – only you can limit your success 

We can’t be successful if we can’t push through our self-limiting beliefs. We all need to believe we can be successful.

In fact, one of the brain’s most amazing powers is the power of belief. Self-belief works to expand the sense of what is possible.

Unfortunately, we are hampered by the limiting beliefs imposed upon us by others: coaches, parents, employers and society at large. Yes, we are all guilty of this.

One example is that of the trained elephants we see on most Asian holidays. As babies, the elephants are chained up tightly to ensure that they can’t run away. The baby elephant is constantly pulling on that chain, testing it to see if it can break free.

After a while, it gives up and stops pulling, accepting that it is trapped and can’t get away. If you look at the size of the chain on the larger elephants, you will notice that they could easily be broken if the elephant tried.  

What has happened in these larger and older elephants is that their spirit has been broken, they don’t believe they can escape.

Communication – Talk your way to success 

It is often the language we use on ourselves when those curve balls are thrown our way that bring us down; seeing us fall in a heap and never reach our objectives.

The extent to which we believe our own negative self-talk can cause a downfall in our ability to move forward and commit to our goals.

The late Muhammad Ali can teach us many lessons. He had to push through and work hard to create firm convictions to overcome his many hardships.

When I was younger, I loved the lines that Muhammad Ali would sprout before matches. I didn’t realise it at the time, but he was the master of using positive self-talk.

He would use affirmations to keep himself positive and propel greater performance, and used negative sayings towards his opponents to gain a psychological advantage.

Like Muhammad Ali, the one thing common to successful people is the power of positive self-talk. These repeatedly used words increase confidence and help the propulsion towards success.

They inspire self-belief, and promote our ability to tolerate the most adverse situations in life. So often, when faced with stress, the body’s reaction is dictated by the mind, so if we can control the mind we control those sweaty palms, increased muscle tension, dry mouth, nausea or even palpitations.

Concluding thoughts 

So, the next time you feel like you’ve failed, don’t think about giving in or giving up, think of it as a stepping stone on your pathway to success!

For over 30 years, Joanne Love’s coaching methods have influenced Australia’s leading athletes, coaches and teams. Her unique outlook draws upon years of educational knowledge, her ability to create successful outcomes, and her psychological training, which is now helping parents, coaches and athletes to maximise their performances. To connect with Joanne, email us at editor@leaderonomics.com.

Reposted with permission

The post The Shocking Truth About Success appeared first on Leaderonomics.com.

By CHRIS WESTFALL

For new leaders who inherit a team or are trying to maximise results for a current one, intelligent communication is the key to your success.

Here are ten leadership communication strategies that can change the conversation:

1. Prepare for success

“I had spent my entire life plotting and strategising how to become successful but hadn’t practised or spent a single day preparing for actually being successful,” says former Hollywood studio executive, Brant Pinvidic.

The producer of shows like Bar Rescue and Pawn Stars has seen his share of success. He says it all starts with defining what success really is.

Look in the direction of impact: after the team accomplishes x, what does that really mean to the company, the investors…and to your personal contribution?

2. Start with what’s known, to get to what’s new

“Remembering the past becomes useful if it gives us insight into future outcomes,” says Carmen Simon, PhD, in her latest book, Impossible to Ignore.

3. Memory management

If you burn your hand on a stove, are all stoves bad? Of course not.

Stoves are neither good nor bad ‒ they are just stoves! Sometimes, leadership means separating useful historical information from current exaggeration. Because getting lost in old experiences can turn memory into a monster.

In this regard, the leader’s job is to help the team to look past what’s past. Have you ever had an experience go from a valuable lesson…to an artificial boundary around your life? Maybe it’s time to take a fresh look at that stove ‒ and help your team to do the same.

4. Are you experienced?

Your skills and talents got you to where you are today. But your team is going to get you to tomorrow.

Your experience is probably pretty impressive, but the experience you create for others is the key to new results. Consider carefully the experience that matters most as you lead your team: Speak the language of your listener if you really want to be understood.

READ: Two Critical Communication Lessons From The Mahabaratha

READ: Is Your Body Language Building or Killing Collaboration?

5. Beyond behaviour

In the industrial production model (think Henry Ford), it was important for everyone on the assembly line to perform the same task, with the same tools, the same way.

In the modern work environment, away from the assembly line, there are many paths to the same destination. After all, the best way to get to Times Square will change if you are in SoHo (in Manhattan) or LoDo (in Denver).
Remember that, where a team member is right now, will always determine the first step. Even when the team’s destination is the same, there are many paths to the productivity you need.

6. Cultivate creativity

IBM asked over 1,500 worldwide executives, “What’s the number one characteristic you look for in a leader?” In Capitalizing on Complexity, CEOs didn’t point to technical expertise, financial skills, empathy or charisma. The number one quality of leaders? Creativity.

In other words, the ability to identify creative solutions to the challenges of the marketplace. Since effective leaders create more leaders: how are you fostering and encouraging creativity ‒ and creative solutions ‒ from your team?

Access aspiration What are the aspirations of your team? What do the individuals you lead, aspire to create for themselves, their families, and your organisation?

We all have aspirational goals. Even if an employee always wants to find the path of least resistance, on some level that’s an aspiration for simplicity and efficiency.

Aspirational awareness is an important part of emotional intelligence ‒ and the key to driving new results.

8. Acknowledge, acknowledge, acknowledge

Three valuable words in a new leader’s vocabulary; and they must be said (and demonstrated) if you are going to create real leadership impact.

“I see you.” Take every opportunity to catch someone doing something right and acknowledge the behaviour you wish to see more of. And remember, “I see you” is a close cousin of “I’m watching you” ‒ just in case a team member thinks he or she can get away with a less than stellar effort.

How do you use acknowledgement and observation to drive the behaviours you want, and drive out the behaviours you don’t?

9. Remember the fifth “P”

The marketing mix features four famous “P’s”: product, price, promotion, and place.

The leadership mix focuses on the fifth “p”: personalisation. How well do you understand the personal puts and takes of the team you manage?

Motivation on a personal level is what matters here. Can you identify what each person on your team really cares about, and phrase your outcomes in terms that speak their language?

10. Access your superpower

Consider that we all have the ability to anticipate. Without it, no one could exit a parking lot. As a leader, what do you anticipate for your team?

Identifying obstacles and empowering team members to find solutions is what a leader does. What does your team anticipate ‒ what obstacles do they see, that you don’t? After all, anticipation isn’t just your superpower ‒ we all have the ability to be heroes (if we choose to do so).

Ask for insights and learn from the experts on your team! It’ll help you to anticipate what’s next.

In the end…

Communication is the key to bringing your vision to life, and to providing the leadership support your team really needs.

For leaders today, it’s helpful to remember these words from Sunday in the Park with George:

 
Don’t let your team keep guessing about what you need, and what you expect, if you’re really preparing for success.
Your vision deserves to be shared ‒ with leadership skills that your entire team can understand.

Chris Westfall is recognised as the U.S. National Elevator Pitch champion. He has helped launch over four dozen businesses, coaching his clients onto Shark Tank, Dragons Den, and Shark Tank ‒ Australia. He is also a keynote speaker and has published seven books, the latest of which is called Leadership Language (Wiley).

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By ROSHAN THIRAN

With great power comes great responsibility – but there also comes the danger for leaders to overstep the mark and let power go to their heads.

A team of researchers at the University of Florida, led by Trevor Foulk, have found that leaders who engage in abusive behaviour struggle to relax after work and are flooded with negative thoughts. Their behaviour also links to feelings of incompetence, and being less respected and less autonomous in the workplace.

Over the course of my own leadership journey, as well as by observing and coaching other leaders, I’ve often wondered about the leadership-follower dynamic and the assumptions that exist on both sides of the fence.

Generally, leaders are seen as people who have all the answers and are always in control of the direction and vision of their team or organisation. Similarly, employees are sometimes viewed by leaders as the people who should be able to get the work done without any fuss.

And therein lies the rub: all the while, as leaders and followers hold this simplistic views of each other, problems continue to fester and cause ripple effects throughout the organisation.

For leaders, this can cause painful organisational issues; and, for employees, they might become disengaged, resulting in morale taking a considerable dip.

From what I’ve seen, such problems are avoidable and boil down to a lack of meaningful communication and conversations. In fact, I am reminded daily of a saying I once learnt, “conflict is a result of unresolved conversations”.

Closing the power distance

Particularly within Asian countries, there exists a set hierarchy in the workplace and the notion of ‘power distance’ in general, where people expect and accept that power is distributed unequally.

Leaders are expected to have all the answers, and employees are expected to get on with the work – this causes less meaningful conversations between leaders and followers.

However, organisations aren’t filled with automatons: they are made up of human beings, and organisations are much more effective when everyone works together.

Whether you’re Asian, European or American, the failure to take part in meaningful communication, or to make the effort to understand each other and the roles that we play, will lead to similar problems for everyone concerned.

Foulk’s study suggests that resonant leaders who are more agreeable in nature are less likely to succumb to the problems that are tagged onto the issue of leaders who allow their egos to rule the roost. Resonant leaders are those who value social closeness, positive relationships and workplace harmony.

While that might sound a little idealistic, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that service-based leadership yields far more productive results (and enjoys a lower turnover rate) than the ‘great man’ leadership style, which is the approach most likely to inspire leaders to overstep the mark.

However, leaders who abuse their power in all the ways it can be abused, says Foulk, should be given at least some understanding of their situation. He says that “even though your boss may seem like a jerk, they’re reacting to a situation in a way many of us would if we were in power. It’s not necessarily that they’re monsters”.

Most leaders have the best intentions at heart but, as the saying goes, it can get lonely at the top. There is so much to do in so little time, and having to make so many decisions every day can lead to an enormous amount of stress and strain on top of everything else there is to juggle.

Of course, that doesn’t excuse any kind of abusive behaviour in the workplace or wherever else it might exist, but it does at least explain why such behaviours exist.

Don’t sweep it under the carpet

It’s worth mentioning again that none of us like to talk about our struggles. We tend to incline towards putting on a face and ploughing through whatever problems arise.

While this might look impressive on the surface, it causes significant damage across the board, from leader and employee well-being to affecting an organisation’s bottom line. It’s a problem that can be swept under the carpet for only so long before it makes a real mess.

With that in mind, I wonder whether there’s room for meaningful communication in the workplace. We need to start having meaningful conversations and be courageous enough to express and share some of the struggles and challenges we all face, both as leaders and as employees.

Without having a true sense of understanding of each other in the workplace, can we really call ourselves a team? Can we truly say there is cohesion and unity?

Perhaps for leaders, it’s easy to see meaningful communication as a luxury that few can afford. But I would suggest that the lack of meaningful communication comes at a higher cost than anything else in the workplace. If there’s no communication, we don’t connect; and if we don’t connect, silos begin to form.

And it’s there, in those spaces of isolation, that we begin to lose sight of each other as a team and of the great successes we should be aiming to achieve together.

It’s surely better for everyone to put an end to the tug-o-wars, and begin focusing all our energy on pulling in the same direction.

Read: 10 Communication Strategies For New Leaders

Roshan Thiran

Roshan is the founder and CEO of the Leaderonomics Group. He believes that everyone can be a leader and make a dent in the universe, in their own special ways. Connect with Roshan on Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter for more insights into business, personal development and leadership. You can also email him at roshan.thiran@leaderonomics.com.

http://www.leaderonomics.org

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Based on Leaderonomics’ Science of Building Leaders, a Secure Base is something to be critically developed at a young age, however it continues to play much importance throughout life. So, as a working adult, do you have a secure base? And are you a secure base to others? How does this (or its lack of) affect your leadership abilities and potential?

Laura Yee, Head of Growth for Leaderonomics, shares her insights.

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If you would like engage with us to facilitate more engaging conversations in your organisation, email us at info@leaderonomics.com. To know more about what Leaderonomics does as a social enterprise, check out www.leaderonomics.org. For our other Raise Your Game podcasts, click here.

The post Secure Base Leadership appeared first on Leaderonomics.com.

By PETER COOK

We communicate every day for a variety of purposes, such as giving information, socialising and so on. Communicating to influence in business and commerce requires special skills if we are to succeed.

What separates influence from manipulation is the degree to which it is in the interest of both the sender and the receiver. A one-sided approach is manipulation whereas a two-sided approach is influence. Most success in long term business relationships arises from influence, rather than manipulation.

Influential communications can be reduced to four elements:

1. The message

Successful communicators use very clear, potent messages to engage and unite people around a goal or a project. Fuzzy messages drive fuzzy actions and fuzzy outcomes, and if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Research on communications also has wide implications for those of us who aim to influence with integrity. Consider these insights carefully:

• Firstly, let us consider the issue of one-sided versus two-sided messages. One-sided messages work best when the receivers already agree with the argument, or when they are unlikely to hear counter arguments. This may explain why people read newspapers that already accord with their views.

Two-sided messages tend to be more effective when the receivers initially disagree with the argument, where they are well educated, or when they are likely to hear counter arguments from others. The ramifications of this innocent-sounding sound bite are massive in terms of thinking about your choice of persuasive communications.

When communicating to persuade, it is generally better to draw a conclusion in the message rather than letting others attempt to infer it themselves. By not drawing a conclusion, we invite the possibility that a different one may be drawn. Or, that no conclusion will be drawn from the passive supply of information.

Repetition of a message can increase persuasiveness if used cleverly. However, over-repetition can wear out a message as well.

Rather than presenting features, it is better to present benefits, as some people do not translate features into benefits. A good way of forcing yourself to do this is to ask yourself the question, “What does this mean for the person I’m talking to?”

Read: Crisis Communication: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

2. The messenger

Successful communicators use a messenger or messengers that will be heard. I’ve tried many experiments where I’ve taken the visuals and audio away from the person delivering the message and found considerable differences in the receptivity of messages. This is especially so when the messenger is controversial in some way.

It is particularly important to balance your innate passion for your subject with the need to persuade others of its value. Remember the point about two-sided arguments being more persuasive than one-sided ones in many circumstances? This balancing act is especially important when people believe that the messenger has something to gain from the outcome.

If you find it impossible to be dispassionate and balanced about your obsession, find someone who can represent your interests in an appropriate way to your audience.

Honesty and trustworthiness are also vitally important to be an effective communicator. Therefore, the messenger’s influence is weakened when the audience perceives that the messenger has something to gain from the communication. This is another reason to present both sides of an issue when people think you may be biased.

People are also more easily persuaded by people they perceive to be similar to themselves, which is why it is important to find something in common with your subjects to give you some basis for conversation.

All of this information on communications and influence can be used with congruence and flair, or as an instrument of manipulation. Successful leaders and change agents know the difference and influence with integrity.

3. The channel

Successful communicators choose the best channels or media for the job at hand, not just the most convenient ones. When we communicate, we often have a range of goals in mind, from informing, to persuading, confronting, facilitating, etc.

Impersonal channels can be counter-productive when giving ‘hard to hear’ messages and this explains why people often fall out on social media channels when trying to deliver more complex and emotional messages.

The relative poverty of social media as a channel for communicating nuanced messages is counterbalanced by people’s shortage of time to do anything more effective. We are now in the age where deaths are announced on Facebook rather than in person, sometimes for reasons of efficiency, but also with some downsides in terms of humanity.

The multiplicity of communication channels has also increased enormously in the last 20 years – from text to instant messaging across multiple platforms, video conferencing, and so on – yet our fundamental skills of communicating have not changed.

Sometimes, the most efficient channels are not the most effective. Personal channels such as one-to-one dialogues are expensive in terms of time but they may be very effective. Impersonal channels are much more efficient but may be quite ineffective.

The successful communicator reaches for the best tool for the job rather than the one most readily available.

Check out: The Four Lenses of Communication

4. The receiver

Successful communicators ensure that those they are communicating with – the receivers – are awake, alert and receptive. Sometimes this is the most important work you can do, to prepare people to hear what you have to say.

Timing can be a crucial determinant of success. Ideas that are hard to hear may need some ‘warm-up’ to get the receiver in the mood to receive. A skilled communicator will use several staged attempts to build up interest and the desire to hear what is to be said.

Timing and location are also crucial if you are to reach your intended receiver and have the desired outcome. The successful influencer chooses the right time and the right place to change someone’s mind.

If you know your receivers and are wishing to communicate to influence, it is also worth considering some general personality traits that can help or hinder your cause.

• People who have low self-esteem tend to be more persuadable than someone with high self-esteem. This explains why people in distress will often take any advice even if it is inconsistent with their needs.
• Authoritarian personalities who are concerned about power and status are more influenced by messages from authority figures whereas non-authoritarian types are more susceptible to messages from anonymous sources.
• Those high in anxiety are hard to persuade. If you face an anxious person in a difficult communications encounter, your first job is to remove their anxiety.
• People who are high in rich imagery, fantasies, and dreams tend to be more empathetic towards others and are more persuadable. In plain language this explains why salespeople often like being sold to!
• People of high general intelligence are more influenced by messages based on impressive logical arguments and are less likely to be influenced by messages with false, illogical, or irrelevant arguments.

They may be especially sensitive to short messages that appear to be unsubstantiated in our world of bite-sized information, such as 280-character tweets on Twitter. There are important implications for short vs long messages here.

If you don’t know the people you are attempting to influence, it means that you have not done enough research. Go back one step to find out more before beginning.

In summary

• To communicate in order to persuade: Have a clear, potent message; use the right messenger; use the correct communications channel; and ensure the receivers are awake, alert and receptive. Flexibility is key.
• Ensuring your subject is ready to receive is the most important work you can do. If they are not listening, all your work is wasted. This includes researching your targets so that you are right first time. Sometimes we only get one chance to get it right.
• Studies of persuasive communications and personality teach us that there are certain things we can do to increase our influence in any situation. It is always good to be able to see things from your audience’s viewpoint, even if you don’t agree with them.

Peter Cook

Peter leads Human Dynamics. He is passionate in the areas of science, business and music, and is the author of eight books, acclaimed by Tom Peters and Professor Charles Handy.

http://www.humdyn.co.uk/

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